When Minions take Over, a Heroes of the Storm Fanfic
by TinhLine
Summary: After a battle, the Heroes disappear, but the minions are always left. Most dissolve into dust, but some, some are...different.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's notes will be up here. Responses to Reviews will be below.**

So. The Nexus. One of the most confusing places to have _EVER_ existed! Nobody knows how it started, where it came from, or when it will end.

Hopefully it will never end.

The so-called Heroes that reside here have Immortality, most likely a side-effect of the Nexus. It is rumored that the only way to truly kill a Hero is to destroy the spawn points. But that has been deemed... _Impossible._

Again, hopefully.

You might be asking yourself, "Where are you going with this?" Let me explain.

Minions have always been the pawns. Smaller, weaker, less important. Heroes felt no sympathy for them, save a few. After battles, Heroes would just teleport out, and the Minions had nowhere to go. They'd either turn to dust, or...Um...Nobody really knows where in the name of Elune they go off to. Probably live in the woods, become wild men/women. The Realm Lords have tried to locate them, but to no avail. They were simply gone.

* * *

"I seriously doubt you can do this." The voice of November "Nova" Terra cut out.

"You can do it if you believe!" The adorable Fae Dragon called back.

A crowd of Heroes and Civilians gathered around, as Brightwing was about to pull off something not insane, not cringe-worthy, but just weird. She was going to triple backflip from a diving board into a pool of Mana-cola (The Nexus' version of Coke) without the help of her wings.

"Brightwing, you're going to crack your spine or head or something if you fail at this. You know you can hardly take damage as it is." One Hero called out.

"Somebody, start recording on their Hearthphones!" Another rang.

"If she dies can I steal some soda from the pool?" A normal old civilian shouted.

"I'm not going to die! If you believe, you can do ANYTHING!" The Fae Dragon giggled.

"DO IT, FLAT FACE!" Now the crowd was getting antsy. Every Hero had gathered around, and every Civilian in town had followed. Anything THIS out of place hardly occurred.

"Brightwing's gonna do it!" Brightwing leapt on her stubby legs, And she..SHE…..

Missed the pool by a mile, bounced on her head as she fell, and dissolved into dust.

The crowd went " _Auuughhhh…_ " before realizing they had a crap-ton of magical soda at their disposal. They began grabbing bottles, cups, or using their hands to get as much as they could.

* * *

Brightwing woke up in the hall of storms, with Nova cheerfully staring down at her, like a baby staring at a bottle of milk.

"Did Brightwing do it, Nova? Did Brightwing? Were friends impressed?" Was the first thing she croaked before flying upwards to stare eye-to-eye with Nova.

"Well...You...Somebody recorded it and posted it online...You can watch for yourself." Nova yanked her Hearthphone out of God Knows Where and pulled up the video on Multitube. It was impossible. It had over 1,000,000 views,and 100,000 likes!

Brightwing hit the play button and giggled, until it reached the part where she jumped. She had succeeded in the flips, but she did it in such an angle that she flew over the pool, and bounced on her head, probably causing her brain to bleed.

"Brightwing? Are you...Okay?" Nova shook the tiny shoulder of the creature.

"Brightwing sad that she failed….But Brightwing happy that she tried! It's just… Brightwing noticed something scary in the video."

"What? Was it Kael'thas, Arthas, and Jaina linking arms and singing the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song? Because that's terrifying, _AND a sign of the Apocalypse_."

"No. Friend Nova, remember the forest behind the pool? And the scary garden battleground just past it?"

"Yeah….Why?"

Brightwing zoomed in on the video. It was blurry, and hard to see, but in the woods, for about 3 seconds, you could faintly see what looked like those stupid Minion things, except dressed...oddly. In leaves, and tribal outfits. The only thing identifiable with them were…

Were their helmets.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's notes: Expect updates to be sudden and not on any sort of schedule. I try to update whenever I can.**

"Oh, yeah. That's sort of….Spooky." Nova said, staring at the blurry image.

"Just spooky? Not anything else, Friend Nova?"

"No. Just spooky. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, though. It's just those weird special minions. You know, the ones who don't die after the battle's over?"

Brightwing thought for a moment.

"Now Brightwing remembers them! They chased Brightwing on Hallow's End, calling Brightwing 'One of those god-awful Heroes who need to be killed permanently'."

"Um, That last remark _might_ be something we need to worry about. Better tell the others." Nova muttered.

* * *

Butcher's Barbecue Was the best restaurant in the Nexus. The only other option was Murky's Fish Taco's, and EVERYBODY, even people with no stomach problems at all, had diarrhea immediately after finishing a meal there. So it was either decent food served by a demon, or stomach-infection inducing raw fish tacos served by a baby Murloc.

Nova knew it was Heroes eat Free night, so everyone would be there. She and her tiny Fae Dragon companion awkwardly bonked into the door, making a noise so loud everyone stopped eating their food and looked up in silence for about 40 seconds.

Sylvanas Windrunner was the first to break the silence.

"Care to talk, or are we just going to have to stare at you until our food gets cold?" She snapped.

Nova looked like a scientist who had just discovered a black hole the size of the galaxy about to swallow it up.

"Do you all remember last Hallow's End?"

All the Heroes started saying a mix of yes's, ranging from "Yes, indeed." to "Hell yeah, man!"

"And do you all remember the Mana-Cola pool, and more importantly, the woods behind it in the video?"

Everyone began laughing, even Sylvanas, who only laughed when an orphanage burned to the ground, or something else as horrible.

"Well, Brightwing just noticed something. Butcher? Hey Butch, do you have a video projection screen or something?"

The Butcher just grunted in weird noises, like he usually did, before bringing out a projector.

"Are we watching a Movie, or a shoddy video on Multitube?" Said Sylvanas snarkily.

The video began.

"She's totally not going to do it." The obvious teenager behind the camera announced.

Brightwing backed up on her legs, ran, flipped three times, missed, bumped her head, died. Completely normal.

"Pause it!" Nova yelled. The Butcher hastily stopped the video.

"Zoom in."

"Right there! See? It's a lost Minion!"

"Strange, I always thought when they got lost, they just starved to death." Kael'thas interrupted.

"Shut your brat mouth, Kael, I think the woman's on to something." Sylvanas yelled to him.

"Are you always this much of an angry soccer mother or what?" He yelled back to her.

"Both of you, shut it!" Screamed Arthas. Now it was really on. They all yelled back insults to each other, such as "Candle Ears" and "Frosty the Snowman", to "Corpse Breath". So, in essence, like children. Fully grown, grumpy toddlers. Edgy 12 year olds in a Youtube comment section as adults.

"ALL THREE OF YOU, SHUT YOUR MANA-HOLES BEFORE WE SHUT THEM FOR YOU." A group of angry Realm Guards shouted.

That got them to shut up.

"As I was saying," Nova glared at all 3 of them. "We think they actually pose a threat."

"Those tiny things? The Panda child, Li Li, barely makes it to my kneecaps and she is still taller than them. And you want to talk about them posing a threat." Sonya said to Nova.

"Just listen, Friends! Before Brightwing eats your throats!"

Now everyone was REALLY ready to listen, mainly because they wanted to have their vocal cords in their throats, not in Brightwings stomach acid.

"Brightwing got chased by those scary people on Hallow's End! They said Brightwing was just another Hero who should die! They hate Friends like us for some reason! We should group up and try to figure out why!"

Sylvanas stood. "I, for once, agree with a Dragon." She threw a scowl at Chromie. "If they hate us so much, they might try to destroy the respawn points and kill us permanently! And I, for one, am not having that one bit!"

Kael had another argument up his sleeve. "Sit yourself down, Windrunner. That has already been proven impossible! And even if it WERE possible, which, hint hint, it's not, they'd have them heavily guarded, and not just sitting out there like a plastic flamingo!"

"Nobody asked you, Candlewick ears." Arthas said.

"I SAY ALL 3 OF YOU SHOULD HAVE AN AGNI KAI!" Tracer giggled.

Everyone in the restaurant gave her a confused stare.

"Avatar the Last Airbender? Anyone? Really? Man, this place is sad." Tracer sat back down, still with a girlish grin on her face.

"Agni Kai? What the hell?" somebody mumbled.

"As I was saying before Douche'thas ever so rudely interrupted me, they might try to destroy them. But as Kael said, That has been proven to be impossible. But guess who did that inspection?"

Everyone in the room began whispering within one another, trying to guess who did it.

Sylvanas facepalmed. "The Raven Lord, you morons! The Raven Lord!"

There was a loud "Ohhhhhhh…." in the crowd before, again, Kael'thas stood up.

"What are you getting at, Windrunner?" He announced.

"I'm saying the Raven Lord faked the inspections so we wouldn't worry, you dolt!"

"You dare speak to a Prince that way? Fine, you want to talk ugly, let's talk ugly. Alleria is dead."

There was a huge gasp and someone fainted.

Sylvanas' face scrunched up. She walked closer, and closer, and closer to Kael'thas.

"I've got a message too. Rommath hated you!"

Kael gasped "Untrue! Rommath was one of my most loyal Magisters! If you want to tell lies, let's make it even. You purposely died during the Fall of Quel'thalas, because you have an insatiable god complex, and you're just somebody that loves to watch the world BURN! Don't be such a bi-"

Before Kael could finish his swear, Sylvanas tackled him and knocked him into a table. Kael scratched Sylvanas across the face with one of his bright red fingernails, sending her holding her cheek and giving him an advantage. He punched Sylvanas in the stomach, sending her into the next table over. Sylvanas got up and charged, kicking Kael in the nose, successfully breaking it. All the Heroes and civilians had gotten up to watch the two elves beat the living salad out of each other, and to get video footage, post it online, or maybe show it to the news.

* * *

 **[Somewhere in the crowd]**

Nova had originally run over to break the fight and maybe even give both of them a few punches of her own for interrupting the announcement, but watching two people, two very powerful people, beat each other senselessly, had proved to be quite entertaining. She was nearly about to bet gold with Kerrigan for which one would win, until a tiny tap on her shoulder shoved her back into reality.

"Friend Nova? What about us telling them about the scary people?" Brightwing said in a tiny, scared voice.

"Me no like seeing friends fight…"

Nova knew just who to ask for help. She spotted Proudmoore in the crowd, who was yelling for both of them to stop.

"Both of you! I thought you were adults! Stop hurting each other! Sylvanas, stop Roundhouse kicking him in the nose, for pete's sake! It's already broken as it is!"

"Jaina."

"Nova! Can you do something about this? They simply won't stop! And over what? An argument over the Raven Lord?"

"Actually, I was thinking you could make them stop…"

Jaina's eyes grew wide.

"What do you...have in mind?"

"They both act like children, they'll both be distracted like children. Get everyone to shout 'SWIPER, NO SWIPING' They'll stop to look at the crowd for a moment, probably to flip them off. That's when you'll freeze them."

Jaina giggled. "'Swiper no swiping'. Heheheheheh."

"Jaina. We have enough children in here. The only reason we're acting like children is to distract them."

Nova stepped back, and watched Jaina tell one Hero to another about the plan. Heroes told Heroes, Heroes told Civilians, Everyone screams the children's line, bam. Frozen elf-sicles.

"On 3!" Nova shouted. "One, two, three!"

The crowd hardly finished saying "Swiping" when the two picked up on the song, and turned to the crowd. Jaina leapt forward, casted a spell, and froze them into mini, living glaciers.

"It sorta burnt singin' like a kid." said Sgt. Hammer.

"Remind me to wash my mouth when I get home, singing like a child left a bad taste in my mouth." mumbled Li Ming.

"Nova, couldn't we have come up with something better, because I sort of had high self-confidence before I sang that and now I feel like an utter baby." Kerigan whispered into the Ghost's ear.

The only person who enjoyed it was Brightwing. She was still singing it, while other Heroes tried to grab her mouth in an attempt at making her shut up.

Nova stepped toward the Ice cube that used to be Kael'thas Sunstrider and Sylvanas Windrunner.

"Will you two shut up now, and let each other speak on their own terms, and NOT scream at each other like children?"

Very muffled voices could be heard saying "Uh-huh." as their bodies were frozen and they were unable to make any other noises.

"Jaina, Melt em'."

The two collapsed into a pile of ice cold water and blood.

Kael'thas had a bleeding eye, multiple chipped teeth, a missing Canine Incisor, a torn earlobe, and one of his fingernails had come off. Sylvanas had a large scratch on her cheek, a bruise on her stomach, a large chunk of hair missing, and 4 broken, bleeding fingers.

Kael'thas looked at Sylvanas. "I just want to finish my food now." he said quietly to her, and walked off towards his table. Sylvanas shouted after him:

"Yeah, that's right! BE ashamed! A woman beat you in combat! How does it feel, huh?! I bet it feels SO nice for a narcissist like yourself!"

Nova cleared her throat. "CAN WE PLEASE FINISH OUR TALK NOW, AND CAN YOU ALL GO BACK TO YOUR TABLES?!"

Everyone scrambled back to their seats.

"Okay, so what we know is, the respawn points have probably been falsely inspected, the Minions hate us for whatever reason, and are probably plotting ways to dispose of us permanently. We just need to know why, and we need a lookout team." Nova discussed.

"That settles it, now. We would need at least 24 lookout teams, for each battleground, and each respawn base for the teams. We would also need 2 extra for the out-of-battleground respawns. Kerrigan said.

"Now, who wants to volunteer?"

As soon as Nova finished her sentence, there was a loud explosion outside. Everyone rushed to the windows.

At one of the out-of-battleground respawns, a large blue cloud of smoke was erupting from it. The Raven Lord's voice cut through the air.

"Attention, Heroes. Stay calm."

And the Heroes...Did the opposite of stay calm.

 **Dear Consort: Thanks! I actually am thinking of going slower with the plot though. Any tips?**

 **SkullyPirate: Haha, yeah. I've seen that too.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's notes: I've worked out a sort-of schedule. Every night except for this weekend i'll try to update at 11 pm.**

Approximately 0.7 seconds after the initial announcement, everything went to garbage. While

civilians were doing nothing, Heroes were running like a maniac was coming to saw their faces in two. Nova and Brightwing had panic in them, but not as much as the others.

"It's only one respawn point! _Don't panic!_ " Nova has tried to yell.

Even Kael was limping as fast as he could out the door.

Another explosion with blue smoke rang out.

Nova turned to her Fae companion. "That was the last out-of-battle respawn point. Meaning if we die, we respawn in a Battleground and we'll have to find a way out. So try not to die, ok?"

"Okay, Friend Nova!"

"Okay, we gotta go to one of the destroyed points. We need to capture one, kill the rest. Interrogate the captured one, and find out why they're doing this. Follow me."

Nova ran out the door, with Brightwing at her heels. As they ran, they caught sight of the other Heroes. Sylvanas had taken to stealing Billie, riding off into the metaphorical sunset with him. Jaina was climbing a tree with Tyrande, making a hasty-looking ice-fort that would obviously melt in a few hours. Arthas was sobbing like a baby. Kael summoned Al'ar and flew on him.

"Almost there!" Nova called.

* * *

Before them was a scene of just simply destruction. There was no other word for it. Where there had once been a hall with a red carpet, was now a pile of rubble and ash. Where there used to be cots that you woke up on after being resurrected, all that was left was a blackened mattress. Blue smoke rose out of every corner, making it nearly impossible to see.

Out of the corners of their eyes, they spotted them. The lost Minions.

"Nova!"

Nova turned her head.

Jaina, Tyrande, Sonya, Li-Ming, and Li Li had come running over.

"You did not think you were fighting them without us, were you?" Sonya teased.

"Less chit-chatting, more fighting." Sylvanas and Kael stepped out from behind a bush.

"Oh! Sylvanas! Nice haircut, real ripped-out looking." Li-ming teased. Sylvanas scowled. "And Kael, I love what you've done with your face! The makeup you used to try and hide the bruises really adds to the fact that you look like an _ugly woman._ " Kael furrowed his long eyebrows.

"Real funny, 'Ming. Now do you want our help or not?" Sylvanas growled through gritted teeth.

"Absolutely, yes. Just keep Kael's neon-red cat claws away from me. _I see those scratches on your face, Windrunner."_

Nova turned to keep an eye on the Minions. She let out a gasp as she realized…

"Guys? They just noticed us...and they're getting closer...with really big swords."

"Nova, now is not the time for one of your sexual innuendo- OH MY TITANS!" Jaina yelped.

There was a whole horde of them, walking closer, and closer, and closer...with swords bigger than one of Brightwings wings!

"Chaaaarge!" one of them screamed.

"Oh no." Li Li muttered.

Charging at the heroes, the Minions spread out to take on one hero at a time, strategically. Sylvanas shot some arrows, but all they did was shatter against their armor. "What?" was all she managed to get out before they swarmed her, and a _CLANG!_ Could be heard in the air. The Raven Lord's voice flooded their ears. "Already you have lost a teammate. Do not fail, Heroes, or the events will be...disastrous."

Kael had gotten distracted by Sylvanas turning into blue dust. The minions stepped forward, and one sliced at his face, reopening a wound he had gotten that night. The only thing you could use to see if he was bleeding was the moonlight and the verdant spheres floating around his head.

"I got you, Candle Ears!" Li Li yelled, and threw some brew at him. The Minions turned and faced Li Li.

"Kill the healer!" they growled. 90% of them turned to charge at the young girl. In no time, another _CLANG!_ Was heard.

"This is not going very well!" Tyrande yelled as the Minions deflected her arrows.

"You're telling me. All they do is deflect my bullets!" Nova responded.

"Step back! I'm going to use a Pyroblast!" Shouted Kael'thas.

Kael'thas thrust both his arms to his right hip, bent his hands, and began creating the ball of pain.

What they all didn't know, was that there was another explosion rigged within the rubble, just in-case something like this happened.

All the minions ran out of the way as the Pyroblast shot past them.

"The fire ball's not stopping!" Sonya yelled.

"It won't! I expected them to be dumb enough to just stand there, like they do in battles!" He said.

As the Pyroblast touched the tip of the rigged bomb, it set of a giant blue explosion.

Nova couldn't breathe. Whatever was in the bomb didn't burn you, it destroyed the respawn point and then _suffocated you!_

Nova looked at her hands. They were disintegrating into blue dust. She looked around at her teammates. Sonya was clutching her throat. Li-ming's arm was already blue dust. Kael'thas and Tyrande had already died. She looked at Brightwing one final time before disintegrating completely. The dragon was grabbing a Minion with her tiny hand and killing it, forcing it to die with her.


	4. Chapter 4

"Friend Nova?"

"Give her some space to wake up."

"Guuhhh….What even happened?" Nova groaned as she struggled to sit up.

Jaina was the first to answer. "Kael's pyroblast hit some sort of toxic bomb. We all died. Painfully."

Brightwing shoved Jaina out of the way.

"Friend Nova! Look at what Brightwing caught!" she cheerily announced.

Behind Brightwing was one of the Lost Minions, tied up to a chair and struggling to break the ropes binding them. Their sword was on the ground, about 30 feet from where Nova sat.

"Interrogation time?" Jaina asked.

"Interrogation time."

She stomped up to the tiny humanoid, stopping at the chair and yanking their helm off.

The tiny girl looked up, her bob haircut hanging around her face.

"Okay, so, if you don't mind...we're just going to ask a few questions.

The girl only replied with a "Screw you, blondie!"

Nova pointed her sniper rifle to her head. "Just. Answer. The. Questions."

"Okay…"

"One, why do you hate Heroes?"

"Oh, well, THAT is lengthy! I could write a novel on it! You all fight in the battles, relying on your teammates, but using us and treating us not as your fellow team members, but as stepping stones, garbage, that meth addict down the street from Butchers Barbecue. When you all leave, you leave us behind. Us, who fought for you as well. Us, who, instead of you, got destroyed by the enemy's towers instead. We are forced to watch as, because the battle is over, our fellow minions disintegrate into dust, leaving only a special few alive. We have to crawl out of the Battleground and into a ditch somewhere just to live! We never wanted to fight! YOUR KIND MADE US!" She was screaming and crying now, clearly getting emotional at the fact that she had been captured by the Heroes who had used her as disposal once.

"Jaina? Can you conjure a few tissues or something?"

"Sure."

"Okay, now, just a few more questions."

As soon as the girl heard the comment, more violent sobbing ensued.

"Okay, I need you to tell me why you want us dead instead of just diplomatically working it out with us." She said gently to the sobbing girl.

"Because-" She sniffed in an attempt to get the snot back in her nose. "Because we want justice! Justice for the ones who were disposed as if they were garbage! Justice for the ones who did make it through the battle, only to die anyways! You've wronged us! ALL of us!"

Nova sighed. She knew what the girl was saying was true. Heroes didn't and couldn't give a damn about a Minion. They could've gotten to like Minions if they got to know one, but Battles never lasted quite that long.

"One last question." she whispered.

The girl looked up, tears, mucus and snot still streaming from her face.

"What's your name?"

The girl blinked, before rendering the question in her head.

"My name-" she took a shaky breath. "My name is Penelope."

"Last name?"

"Minions don't have last names... we make the first names up for ourselves, just so we can have a sort-of identity."

Nova heard Brightwing whisper "Poor friend…" and heard Jaina sniffing sadly.

"Okay. Thank you." Nova began to walk towards the others.

"H-hey! Aren't you going to untie me?!"

"Um, nah, nope. We don't want to run the risk of you attacking. What we will do though, is wipe your face up." Nova grabbed the tissue and…

"Jaina...why the hell is the tissue glowing blue?"

"Uh…it is magically created, so it must have some side effects, or…"

"...or what?"

"Or it's a side effect of the Mana-cola I drank 3 days ago at Butchers barbecue."

"Oh yeah, that's real ni- WAIT 3 GODDAMN DAYS AGO?!" she shouted.

"Yeah. You respawned at the same time as us, but you didn't wake up for 3 whole days…"

"Friend Brightwing kept poking you with a stick!" Brightwing happily giggled.

"Whatever." She grumbled, and walked towards Penelope with the glowing magic tissue.

"Don't touch me, you filthy scumba- Mrph!" Penelope was muffled by Nova's hand and the tissue. When Nova lifted her hand, Penelope exclaimed in a "Bleh!"

It was at this moment that Nova recognised where they were. They were at Dragon Shire, but it looked less beautiful. All the greenery was wilting and rotting as there were no civilians to water them. More clouds filled the sky than usual. The Dragon Knight's statue had a horn missing and it was cracking.

"What time is it?" Nova whispered to Jaina.

"About...one or two in the morning? Maybe?" was all that was whispered in response.

Nova looked to Penelope. She was out cold, lightly snoring, with her bob covering her face.

"She hadn't slept since she respawned with Brightwing." Jaina mumbled.

Nova looked at the moon in silence. Even though she had woken up, like, 10 minutes ago from a 3-day napathon, she was ready for another few hours.

"In the morning," She whispered to her allies, as to not wake Penelope and have her have another tantrum, "We head out and try to find the rest of our team."

 **Lucario: Your review got in late, I have no clue why, as the date said you posted it on Oct. 5, when I published chapter one. And in reply, approx. 4,568 stars aligned on the night of Oct. 5, so the chances were pretty high Brightwing was going to be a main character. Mana-cola is not spiced with anything tropical, it's just like regular sugary, sort-of-bad-for-you soda, except it has an absolute boatload of mana in it, so much of it that they were banned to be on the direct battlefield with Heroes, because they were smuggling them in and boosting their mana when nobody was looking. The color of the cans are a mix of Purple and blue, or they could be green and blue, or red and blue, depending on what type you get. And no, you are not annoying me. Thank you for the support! :)**

 **Consort: Yes, they are being buffed by something, or, it could be _someone,_ but I don't have any guarantees on whether taking them to a place where buffs are removed, or an area where magic is weak would work, though. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors notes: In my imagination, Minions do not look like humans. They are too small as full-grown adults to look normal, and look to child-like and cartoonish looking to be labeled as human. They are not gnomes, though. I hate gnomes. No offence, Chomie. Just imagine a skinny toddler with a bob trying to shank you in a dark alley at 2 A.M, but she keeps on missing your stomach with her knife. That's what Penelope looks like.**

Waking up and walking outside the magically created tent, Nova went to go ask Jaina to magically make her a cuppa joe. Jaina had been magically been making things for the past 3 days, and was starting to look tired and run low on mana.

"I swear, you would all die if I wasn't here to keep making you guys things." she muttered.

"Jaina, not to bother you, but could you, say, make me a magical cup of coffee?" Nova snickered to Jaina.

"Ugh, of course I will, Nov- HOLY TITANS, YOUR HAIR!" she yelped and fell backward.

"What? What's wrong with it? Did a rat get caught in it or something?!" she worriedly yelled.

Jaina held up a mirror.

"Oh. my. GOD!"

Pieces of her bangs stuck up in 3 different directions, and the back of her hair had turned into some sort of frizz monster. Her ponytail was barely a ponytail anymore, and more like a blonde mass that hung down from her head.

Brightwing was rolling on the floor laughing, Jaina was chuckling, and Penelope was smirking, not quite a smile, but not quite a frown either.

"Jaina. Brush. Now."

"Um, you could try…but I doubt it would help all that much…" Jaina handed her the brush, clean and clearly just made. Nova tried to comb the thing through her lengthy blonde mop, but in the middle of trying to get a piece of bang down from an angle, the brush snapped.

"Woah…" Nova stared silently at the brush for a second, before Jaina pulled her aside and said:

"There's not a problem Magic can't solve...even with my low mana…" and walked with her to the other side of the tent.

Brightwing flew up to Penelope.

"Brightwing likes your name, Friend Penelope!" She gleefully YELLED at the poor girl.

"Erm...Thanks…" She muttered back in response, cringing at the noise of the complement.

"Friend Penelope, do Minions have family and mommies and daddies?" Brightwing asked her.

"Well, some of us do, if we survive the battle. I don't, I was one of them who was spawned by the core during one of your battles for 'fun'."

"Do Minions have brothers and sisters?"

"If we're born biologically, yes, sometimes, and I guess you can consider the others made by the core as your siblings…"

"And 3rd, how old are you?"

"4 days old, but biologically i'm 14."

"Friend Penelope, Brightwing is wondering why they would ask kids to fight for them…"

"When we're first made, we're biologically mature, but then as soon as we don't die, it's sort of a Benjamin Button situation, until we reach biologically 10, and then start aging like a human."

"Interesting. Brightwing should've brought a notepad…"

Penelope stared at the dragon.

"That you should've. There's boatloads more, like how painful reverse puberty is going to be."

"What's a puberty?"

"You're...You're joking, right?"

"No."

"Well if you really want to know, puberty for girls is when-"

Fortunately for Brightwings innocence, Jaina overheard where the conversation was heading, and stooped in to stop it.

"Brightwing! Puberty is where….Rainbows come out of your mouth for no reason at all!"

"Even for boys?"

"Even for boys! Right, Penelope?"

Penelope glared at her. "Yes. That's why it's extremely painful, the rainbow you barfed floats back into your mouth and it's all cold and gross…"

"Cool! Next, Brightwing wants to know where babies come from!"

Jaina thought fast. "BABIES COME FROM STORKS THAT DELIVER THEM TO THEIR PARENTS!" She yelled.

"What is even happening over here?" Nova asked when she stepped out from behind the tent.

She had the most polished, sleek looking ponytail to ever be viewed in the nexus. No hairs were coming out of the back, the hair tie was tightened to absolute perfection. Two side braids were on the sides, held up with two bobby pins.

"Ooh! Friend Jaina! Do Brightwings hair next!" Brightwing yelled.

"Brightwing, you don't have hair. You have scales and antennae." Jaina chuckled.

"Brightwing can force hair to grow!" and with that, she began puffing air into her cheeks and straining her neck and head so hard the veins looking like pop-ups in a pop-up book. Her blue skin turned a shade of crimson.

A single, red hair sprouted.

"Brightwing has hair!" Brightwing cheered.

"Are you sure it's not a vein that popped out?" Jaina asked worriedly.

"Brightwing hopes not."

"Enough chit-chat, everyone, weren't we going to look for our team today?" Nova interrupted.

"Good idea. Any idea where they could be?" Jaina said.

"Li-Ming and the Elves are smart enough to figure a way out of these arenas. Li Li and Sonya though... "

"Why Li Li and Sonya?"

"Li Li's a kid and she hasn't learned how to climb other than how to climb cabinets to reach cookie jars. And Sonya...Well, we all know Sonya. Li-Ming and Kael probably headed somewhere where there's a lot of mana present. Sylvanas probably went to steal another creepy goat, and Tyrande's probably hiding in a tree."

"Most definitely. But where would Li Li and Sonya be?"

"They could be in any battleground with a functional respawn point. I say after we find the others, we search all of them until our hair is gray."

* * *

Climbing out of the battleground without a female Benjamin Button tied to a chair had been a cinch. However, Nova had been asked to drag Penelope in her chair, and boy, for a skinny biologically 14 year old, she weighed a ton.

"What did Jaina give you for breakfast, bricks?" She growled.

"Incorrect. She gave me old torn up books."

Finally, she got the kid up. The chair skidded against the cobblestone stands, where hundreds of civilians and Heroes not in a battle would have been, watching.

* * *

"This is the place with the biggest mana store in town. Mana pastries, mana candies, mana cola, and, of course, mana itself." Jaina explained. They were in the town of Manatali, conveniently having mana in it's name.

The store was painted blue, had blue doors, blue tinted windows, and 'We sell Mana' signs littered all over. Normally, this place would've been packed. But the civilians had probably fled as well when they realized the Heroes weren't going to come out of hiding.

"It's so...depressing looking, with nobody around." Nova whispered to the others.

3 flashes of green inside the window alerted them that Prince Cat'claws was probably inside.

"We sneak in, just in case it's not them." Jaina said.

Walking up the paved path, they noticed it was littered with discarded belongings of fleeing Heroes and civilians. Sgt. Hammers helmet, a little girls 'My little Succubus' doll, a rare Hearthstone card, and one of Tyrael's golden boots.

"Quietly open it. It doesn't have a bell, but it creaks." Jaina whispered.

Stepping through the door, they heard familiar male and female voices.

"Hey Makeup, you want this Mana-Cola Zero?" The woman asked.

"No, those are awful. They only give you one-tenth of your mana back, and they taste like disappointment and the tears of a child who just got diagnosed with brain cancer." An Elven-sounding man called back.

Kael'thas had his back against the wall, and had the book 'A History of the Universe, by Stephen Hawking' in his hands, and was quietly singing an Elven folk song in his native language, Thalassian.

Li-Ming was looking through the shelves of mana food items and spell and potion books, looking for something to shove into a secret pouch she hid on her arm.

"Friend Li-Ming! Friend Kael'thas!" Brightwing screamed.

Both yelled in surprise, and jumped up.

"What in the name of-" Kael began.

"Oh, thank god other women are here. You have no many times a day he asked me 'Did you find any non-woman deodorant yet?' and how many times I had to ignore him." She began.

"SHUT UP." he yelled from across the room.

 **Consort: Thank you! And your comment helped make a part of this chapter, because most people do get bedhead. Imagine waking up the next morning with hair like Nova's. Uh-oh.**

 **Lucario: She choked Penelope out, as Penelope had a special thing in her helm helping her breathe in the gas, but nothing protecting her from being strangulated..**

 **Also, i love cold fries, how dare you.**

 **And know you already know about the unfortunateness of Mana-Cola zero.**


	6. Chapter 6

"Sylvanas? Sylvanaaaas?" Called Jaina, yelling for her friend to show up.

"Be quieter. You don't want to attract anymore shrimps. I mean, Lost Minions." Nova said.

"Shut up." mumbled Penelope.

"Hey Sylvanas? If you stole another goat to ride on, I have some aluminum cans he can chew on." Li-Ming yelled.

There was a rustling, before a familiar undead elven woman emerged from a bush, holding Billie by the reigns.

"I only came out for the aluminum." She said.

"Thank the Sunwell for another Elf." Kael'thas said to her. "I don't even know how humans can hear out of those tiny little ears. It's been bugging me."

"Just because you have better hearing doesn't mean we can't hear what you're saying in front of us." Li-Ming growled.

"What are all of you doing together, anyway? Whenever I came across another Hero, it was always an 'Every man for Himself' situation, with them trying to kill me so they could loot my body." Sylvanas told them.

"Even the other Heroes are losing it, too." Jaina muttered.

"Yes, it's as if everyone has lost themselves because the only other working spawn point is in Blackheart's Bay. I don't know why you would be scared, though. I heard it's a base camp and they're constantly having fish fillet's."

"Mmmmmm….. _Brightwing loves fish fillets_ ….." Brightwing said.

"Which direction is Blackheart's Bay?' Nova said.

Sylvanas pointed just past the group.

"South, up there." she told them

As the group started heading south, Kael looked behind him and said:

"Sylvanas? Aren't you going to follow?"

"You've already forgiven me for the fight a few days ago?" She asked, shock written across her face.

"Sort of. If you hold a grudge, it's just going to find you and haunt you. Better to apologize and get past it than hate the person literally forever in our case." He explained gently

"Literally forever, if we don't get killed." She joked.

Both exchanged some laughs, before Kael examined the cuts he had left on her face, and looked down at his fingernails.

"Maybe I should trim them more…" he told her.

"So, are we friends or what?"

"Oh, not even close, just _polite allies_ at the moment. As soon as our Immortality has more than one spawn point, i'm killing you immediately."

"That's fair, considering I call you 'as weak as your father' every time I kill you in battle"

" _What?_ "

"What?"

"Hurry up you two!" Jaina called. The entire group was about 100 feet ahead of them.

"Want to hop on Billie with me? As 'Polite Allies?'"? She asked him.

"Do I ever. These stupid armored boots start to _hurt_ after a while."

* * *

As it turns out, the base camp was farther than initially thought. They had started a campfire, and Jaina had, annoyedly, magically made some tents.

"From now on, the only person making you things now is Kael'thas" She announced.

"Why me?" Kael asked in a shocked manner.

"You're a mage, too. It's time to help out. And don't think I don't see those staches of mana hidden in that secret pocket in your cape. I SEE ALL OF IT! Now, go be a good friend and go conjure all of us some marshmallows."

"Fine." Kael sighed, and then went behind some bushes.

"Soooooo, Sylvanas, is there any special reason you were talking with Kael'thas today?" Li-Ming teased.

"What? No. Absolutely not. I know what you're implying, so no, it's nothing like that. We're just… Friendly allies."

"Friendly allies? Sounds _sooooo_ romantic."

"Shut your mouth, 'Ming."

"So, what do you like most about his face? The eyes, nose, or lips? Oooh, or what about the ears?"

"Li-Ming, I find his face as unsightly as a cockroach. Especially with those titan-forsaken age-lines. Ugh, the age-lines."

"Can we not speak of this before he comes back?"

"Can we not speak of what before I come back, Sylvanas?"

Kael'thas had returned, with the bag of conjured marshmallows in his clawed hands.

Li-Ming elbowed her in her ribs, and chuckled. Sylvanas searched for an excuse to use.

"We were talking about… The fall of Quel'thalas! Yes, the fall of Quel'thalas! I thought it would be painful for you to talk about, seeing as you were not there to help protect the people you loved, after all."

"How… _Nice_ of you, Sylvanas. Oddly nice of you." He said. "I thought it would've been more painful for _you_ , seeing as you were the one who died."

He thought for a moment before saying, "You fumbled around for a moment before responding. What are you hiding?"

Jaina interrupted to stop the conversation from going anywhere embarrassing for Sylvanas.

"Hey! How about we roast these marshmallows already?"

"You all can, i'm heading into a tent." Kael told her before tossing the bag for her.

Sylvanas turned to face the girl wizard.

"I hate you forever for making me go through with that."

"I'm teling him in the morning!"

"No you are not."

"Yes I am."

"No you are not."

"Yes I am."

"Li-Ming?"

"Yes?"

"I hate you."

 **Consort: Oof. I completely forgot Brightwing was a reptile. Maybe sometime when Jaina's not around to interrupt, Penelope will get a Reptilian Biology book for her and make her read it.**

 **And the reason Li Li hadn't climbed out is because have you seen how tiny she is? Her legs are so stubby i'd be surprised if she didn't fall of the cabinet where the cookie jar is at least once.**

 **Lucario: Nah, they're pretty good, but when it's cold Wendy's or Mcdonalds, it's going to be gone in half a second if i'm near it.**

 **And yes, there are other life foods in the Nexus, but none as popular as Mana-Cola, primarily for the taste.**


	7. Chapter 7

Nova woke up, and immediately saw a 2 shadows and a fire outside her blue tent. Jaina was lying next to her, in a blue sleeping bag and nightgown, out cold. She sat up, and rubbed her eyes. She looked at her watch.

" _Only about 2 AM?"_ she thought.

She slightly opened the zipper of the tent, and peeked outside to see who was up. It was Sylvanas and Li-Ming. She leaned closer to hear what they were discussing.

"You absolutely have to tell hi-" Li-Ming began.

"Absolutely not, 'Ming. And can we please change the subject already? I can sense _somebody_ is watching us." Sylvanas glanced behind her, looking Nova dead in the eye before she had a chance to react.

"Nova, can you come out here please?" Sylvanas asked with a fake sweetness.

Nova reluctantly stepped out, her suit transformed into some comfortable white pajamas. The coldness of the ground nipped a her bare feet, as fall was beginning to set in.

"Don't just stand there. Sit next to me!" Li-Ming gleefully suggested, patting a part of the log next to her. Nova walked over, and sat next to her.

"Nova, do you have any topics you'd like to discuss?" Sylvanas asked the Ghost.

"Yeah, I have one, why are you up at 2 AM?"

"Oh, we call this 'The Insomniac Club'." Li-Ming explained. "I stay up too late reading books, and Sylvanas is undead and thus doesn't need to sleep."

"That's….Sylvanas, _you don't need to sleep_? That has to be bull, i've seen you sleep 5 times…"

"It's more of a forced thing, I don't actually need it."

"So...Insomnia Club members, what were you talking about before I came out?'

"Just Sylvanas' crush on Kae-"

Sylvanas covered Li-Ming's mouth.

"Li-Ming. Unless you want to tell me who S is in your emails, I'd consider shutting up."

"YOU'VE BEEN ON MY COMPUTER?!"

"Uh-huh."

"You-you haven't seen the history, have you?!"

"I'll say one thing: get off the dark side of Multitube. Besides, most of those demon-summoning videos are fake."

"What would you know?"

"I think I would know because i've worked with dark magic longer than you!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Can we all quiet down out here?" Jaina stumbled out into the campsite, her tired and slightly annoyed face being lit in the firelight.

"Friend Brightwing agrees with Friend Jaina." Brightwing announced, before she flew onto Jaina's shoulder and made a pouty face.

Kael stepped out, a bottle of mana in his hand.

"I hate you all." He drowsily muttered.

"What a way to kick the day off… Where's Penelope, though?" Nova asked.

A voice could be heard from inside a small, purple tent.

"IT'S HARD ENOUGH TRYING TO SLEEP TIED TO A CHAIR! SHUT UP!"

"Okay, as leader of this group, I say even the Insomnia Club has to hit the hay." Nova said.

"Who appointed you leader?" Sylvanas sneered.

"I did. Now, everybody, shut up and go back to sleep."

As they were walking back to the tents, Sylvanas tapped Kael'thas on the shoulder.

"I need to tell you something." She said.

He turned around. "Yes? What is it?"

She opened her eyes wide. If she was still living, her heartbeat would've increased about 70 BPM. "Never mind. I just forgot."

As he walked into his tent and out of earshot, she let out an exasperated sigh.

"Maybe i'll tell him after our immortality is fixed." She promised herself.

 **Lucario: You've never been to Wendy's? Oh dude it's so good. If you ever do get something there, though, eat the burgers first. You'll thank me later.**

 **Hmm...Yeah, that does sound sorta cool, though i've never written a short story before. They all have chapters. Let's just hope Kael and Diablo don't accidentally start a forest fire.**

 **Consort: Rated SoM, for Sort of Mature. My guess is Penelope would try to teach her, but only for a day, and then later go 'K Brightwing I want you to read the entire Harry Potter series by the end of the week.'. And I think a diagram would help, too. (Also, do yourself a favor and never google 'female reptile reproduction system')**

 **Silk is actually really creative… I would've made up something stupid, like Kael'vanas.**

 **Ok whoops I did not mean moustache. Kael will never grow one of those, thank Elune.**


	8. Chapter 8

"Rise and Shine, everybody!"

Li-Ming stepped out from her tent, in her purple and white bathrobe.

"Nova. It's 6 AM."

"So?"

"SO?! WE WENT TO BED AT 2:09! WE ONLY GOT 4 HOURS OF SLEEP!"

Kael'thas stepped out of his tent, in a red nightgown with a gold lace around the neck.

"Woman, i'll pay you 5,000 gold to shut your trap."

"You have 5,000 gold on you right now?"

"Yes. So can we please go back to sleep?"

"Well, as much as i'd like 5,000 gold, i'll have to pass up. We have to make it to Blackheart's Bay as soon as possible!"

"Don't we have to find Tyrande first?" Sylvanas asked, still in her armor.

"Oh. Right. Forgot about that." Nova's face fell, but then picked up again.

"We have to find her as soon as possible! Everyone, no time for getting your armor on! We have to go as soon as possible!"

"At least i'll have some armor to protect me!" Sylvanas grinned.

"Of course, because a plate mail bikini is protecting so much of you." Kael told her sarcastically.

"Kael'thas, she'd punch you if you weren't so-" Li-Ming began.

"So far away! That's what you meant, right Li-Ming?" Sylvanas growled at her.

"Friends! Do not argue! Brightwing is here!" Brightwing burst from her tent, yelling as loud as she could with her tiny lungs.

"All right, what's happening now?" Jaina emerged from her and Nova's blue tent, looking weary.

"Untie me." Penelope was muffled, as she was stuck in her chair.

"I think we can trust her now." Jaina said to Nova.

"Fine. I'll untie her." Nova sighed, walking into the tent to untie her.

"I'M FREE! AT LONG LAST!" The girl burst through. She must've been biologically 13 now, as 5 days had gone by since her creation. Her hair was slightly shorter, and her cheeks were rosier than before. She was wearing red overalls instead of armour, with a pink t-shirt underneath.

"Haha, nice armor!" Li-Ming teased.

"No time to waste! Make post-haste!" Nova sang.

"Please don't sing that the entire way." Penelope told her.

"ON OUR GRAAAND ADVENTUUURE!" Nova sang even louder. The entire group let out a collective groan.

* * *

3 hours had gone by, looking at the treetops and in bushes, looking for Tyrande. Nova was still singing the song she had made up.

"And when our face bones break after getting hit in the head with a cake, we'll all be there for each otheeeerrrrr!"

"No, we won't." Sylvanas muttered.

"AND WHEN THE MOOOON HITS YOUR EYYEEE LIKE A BIG PIIIIIZA PIE-" Nova started on a new song.

Sylvanas turned around. "OKAY! BRIGHTWING SINGING I CAN TOLERATE, SHE'S A CHILD! YOU, HOWEVER, ARE A FULL GROWN ADULT! ACT LIKE ONE, AND STOP SINGING!" She went off on Nova, yelling at her like never seen before.

"That's amore…." Nova whispered.

"THAT'S IT!" Sylvanas shrieked. She tackled Nova, knocking the air out of her lungs.

"Sylvanas! Don't get in another fight!' Jaina feebly attempted to yell.

Nova shoved Sylvanas, sending her into a rock.

"As the leader, I order you to stop!" Nova smugly said.

"Or else what?" Sylvanas replied through clenched teeth

"Or else," Nova leaned in and whispered into Sylvanas' long ear. Sylvanas' eyes widened, and she kept whispering "No. I'll stop." Over and over. She got up, and rubbed the bruise on her back the rock had left. Kael'thas walked up to her.

"What in the Sunwell's name did she threaten you with so much that you got that frightened?" He asked her curiously.

"I'd rather not tell, Sunstrider. Now, please, go on with your merry day." She told him bitterly. Li-Ming breathed through her teeth when she heard Sylvanas' harsh tone towards him. Kael'thas scowled at her, and walked up next to Li-Ming.

"Li-Ming, I am very curious about Sylvanas." He told her. "Can you please tell me what's happening with her?"

"Always with the vocabulary." She teased. "I'll tell you later, when we get to Blackheart's Bay. It will…. Quite shock you."

"Shut your damn mouth, girl." Sylvanas shouted to her.

* * *

"Do you all smell saltwater?" Jaina asked the group.

"'Yeah...Me too!" Nova replied.

As they all got to the top of a hill, there they saw a great sight. A wooden dock was leading into a lake, with wooden stadiums surrounding it. In the center there was a grand stadium. There were two cores in the shape of Neptune made out of beautiful crystal, except the red one was cracked and destroyed, and Lost Minion armor lay all around it. The heroes had stopped the wave of them, but at the cost of a respawn point. At the blue core, there was a wave of people. Heroes, normal people, and some captured Lost Minions.

"My people!" Penelope cried.

"Pipe down!" Hissed Nova. "We're going to try and convince them that you're a normal kid."

"Oh yes, we're going to try and convince them that Bug Eyes Mcgee over here is a normal girl, a normal girl who's shorter than normal, and ages backwards." Kael'thas snarkily told her.

"Whatever. If they catch on, we'll just tell them…" Nova stopped and sniffed the air. "The Butchers down there! He's making food! I could so go for a steak right now!"

"Wait...Weren't we supposed to look for Tyrande?" Jaina told her.

"Indeed you were." Came a smooth, calm feminine voice behind them.

"Friend Tyrande!" Brightwing called, before latching herself onto the Night Elf's leg.

"I see you looked far and wide for me." She told the group gently, but it still had a sting to it.

The entire group looked at their feet or pinched the bridges of their noses in guilt and embarrassment.

"Let us waste no time. I've been eating nothing but berries for the past few days now. I wonder if the Butcher sells fruit salads."

The Heroes greeted their long lost comrades with handshakes and "Long time no see, dude"'s. Nova immediately asked if anybody had seen Sonya and Li Li.

"We're right here!" Came a young girl's voice, and soon Sonya and Li Li came rushing over.

"I have missed you, Li-Ming." Sonya's rough, muscular voice told the girl wizard.

Li-Ming blushed. "M-me too." She told her. Sylvanas chuckled and elbowed her in the ribcage, in a similar way to what Li-Ming had done to Sylvanas before.

"Li Li, where is your uncle Chen? A child of your age should be with a relative." Tyrande said to the small girl.

"Oh…" Li Li began sadly. "I don't know where he is. I respawned with Sonya here after we died. Other people started to respawn here, too. We've been setting up shop, giving people food, taking in scared civilians. The Raven Lord hasn't been much help to us. Whenever we try to talk to the guy he never answers!"

Everybody mumbled in agreement about how useless the Raven Lord was being.

Nova stood up for him though. "Yeah, it was kind of douche-baggy of him to not tell us that the respawn points weren't invincible. But maybe he didn't tell us because he didn't want to scare us, you know."

"And look where 'not scarin' us' has got us to, darlin'. I say he should've, and he should've had some type o' security around em'." Sgt. Hammer called from her tank.

"I agree with the cowgirl. The douchebag basically lied to us so we wouldn't 'panic'." Kerrigan said.

"Yeah! The Raven Lord is a major-league jerkwad!" Penelope called. Everyone's eyes widened when they realized what she was.

"Oh, oh, so just because i'm a Lost Minion i'm suddenly evil? That's racist! And I only participated in, like, one battle!"

Another Lost Minion called out to her. "Sister Penelope! Sister Penelope! Free me!" He must've been biologically 12, and apparently he was horrible.

"Oh look, it's 'Sephiroth'. Real nice name you gave yourself there, it totally won't backfire in any way shape or form." she started.

As they were distracted, Li-Ming nudged Kael'thas.

"Remember that thing I said I was going to tell you when we got here earlier?" She whispered to him.

"Oh good, I was starting to think you had forgotten." He whispered back.

"Follow me."

He followed her into a darkened alley, where no Hero could hear them.

"Ok, Kael'thas, you might want to conjure yourself an inhaler because the reason Sylvanas is acting so weird is because..." She paused and looked around.

"Because why? Why did you stop talking?" He asked her.

"I just feel like somebody's watching me...Anyways, the reason she's acting so strange is because she likes you. Not in a 'Polite Allies' kind of way, in the kind of way where you guys get married and somehow have half-undead kids kind of way."

Kael'thas just froze, his mouth hanging agape for about 2 minutes.

"Um..Kael'thas?"

Kael began to tip over.

"Oh, wait, he's blacking out."

Kael'thas fell over, and Li-Ming caught him by the hair.

"Oh jeez… What do I tell the others? And more importantly, what do I tell Sylvanas?"

 **Consort: Li-Ming told Kael now. And then he blacked out. Next chapters going to be focusing on Kael and Sylvanas' relationship a bit more.**

 **Stockholm syndrome? Maybe. She is sort of getting to like them.**

 **Just like how gross pictures of favorite characters get burned in, don't they? And then they dont go away fOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS.**


	9. Chapter 9

"This is extreme racisim at it's finest!" Penelope shouted. All the Heroes were discussing what to do with her. Some were merciful, some were less good-hearted. Nova rubbed her temples, and tried to calm the crowd and their obviously murderous intentions.

"Please, she's a good person now!" she shouted.

"A LITTLE HELP HERE!" Li-Ming called. All the Heroes turned to view the girl dragging Kael'thas by his hair.

"I caught him by his hair!" She gleefully exclaimed. A part slipped out, leaving his hair 2 inches shorter. "I caught him by his hair _extensions_." She replied to herself.

Sylvanas ran over. "What even happened?!" she yelled at the girl.

"Hmmm, so you know how you like him, right? So I dragged him into an alleyway where there may or may not have been a homeless man watching us, and told him about it. I thought he would take it fine. NEXT THING I KNOW, HE'S BLACKING OUT AND HIS HAIR EXTENSIONS ARE FALLING OFF!"

"Li-Ming." Sylvanas said.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Li-Ming."

"What?"

"Li-Ming."

Kerrigan stepped over. "I think has stopped working." She joked. Nobody laughed.

"No, go away, you." Kael'thas muttered in his unconscious state.

"Back to the target on hand about our lil' darlin' over here…" Sgt. Hammer said. "She probably isn't useful to us in the slightest. We need to question Mister, ahem, 'Sephiroth' over here."

Sephiroth squirmed. "Y'know, I don't really like that name anymore….How about Mince? Yeah, I like 'Mince'."

Another Lost Minion squirmed. "Our fellow Minions will destroy you! We shall be free! Today is the day, the day all of your immortality is gone for GOOD!"

A rumbling in the ground could be heard. The Heroes, except for the petrified Sylvanas and unconscious Kael'thas, looked to the last remaining respawn point. An army was mounting over the hill, all their swords unsheathed, and their eyes angry within their helms.

"That doesn't look nice in the slightest…" Arthas could be heard muttering.

Sylvanas came to. "Li-Ming. Give me Kael'thas. NOW." Li-ming dragged the unconscious elf to the other. Sylvanas picked Kael'thas up, Her right hand under his hamstrings and her left hand supporting his back. She ran off, leaving Nova, Brightwing, Jaina, and Li-Ming.

"Everyone! To the core!" Nova screamed, and watched with pride as all the Heroes and civilians ran over to defend their last string of immortality.

The battle was bloody. Jaina threw an ice bolt straight through the head of a Lost Minion. Nova Must've shot 5 of them. Li-Ming drew her laser through 45 of them, leaving a trail of dust.

"They're all nearly go- Oh. Oh no." Nova said.

An entire army came out from the bushes, 4,590 in count. Jaina dropped her staff. Nova lowered her gun. All of the Heroes froze in their spots, even Sylvanas, who was running with Kael'thas.

"There's no way." Jaina whispered. She wiped a tear from her cheek. "We're dead."

Nova turned on her heel and grabbed the shoulders of the Frost Mage. "Don't give up yet." She said, and gave an encouraging smile, though in her head, she knew what Jaina had whispered was true.

The Minions drew ever closer. Time seemed to stop. Nova just stood there and stared. Brightwing tapped her shoulder.

"Friend Nova? Are we going to be okay?" She asked her friend.

Nova snapped back to reality. "Of course we are!" She yelled, now with more zing than ever. We're called 'Heroes', after all!"

Hearing Nova's yell made the others snap out of it, too. They all let out war cries before running towards the army. Dust covered the sky from all the Minion deaths. But something went wrong. Hero dust was now flooding the sky. Kerrigan, Sonya, Abathur, Gazlowe and others were seen turning to blue dust.

"Not good." Li-Ming muttered. "Not good. Not good at all."

The Minions made their way through the Heroes. They drew closer to the core.

"Attack them, Friends!" Brightwing screamed, before taking off. Jaina picked her staff up and began shooting magic like never before. Li-Ming just sent wave after wave of fatal arcane, and Nova shot a few bullets, but it just wasn't enough. They began slashing at the core. Nova's eyes widened and her pupils dilated. A chunk of rock came off, and smacked Nova in the center of her head. She kneeled on the ground, clutching her skull and blinking. Everything was fading to black. She fell to the ground, her torso landing with a THUD! On the floor.

"Get her to safety! It's too dangerous!" Li-Ming's voice was the last thing she heard before everything became blurry and blackened.

 **SkullyPirate: I think it stated somewhere that Li-Ming was a teenager, somewhere from 16 to 19, And you know how teenage girls are. They couldn't hold a secret if their lives depended on it. And yes, Sylvanas will now torment her relentlessly for this.**


	10. Chapter 10

Nova's eyes opened wide and she felt the ground beneath her. It was cracked and dusty hardwood, obviously not vacuumed in quite a while. Her surroundings were cracked, purple walls, torn sofas, a twin-sized bed in the far corner, a lamp next to her, and a T.V and refrigerator plugged into a strange, magical device.

She called for somebody. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

She listened hard, and heard voices from beneath her, mumbling a conversation. She was wrapped in a warm, comfy blanket, and there was a nice, fluffy blue pillow where her head had been.

"Another hour, or something." She whispered, before she placed her head on the pillow again, and fell into sleep.

* * *

Nova woke up as she heard the door to the room open. She opened her eyes a crack to see the figure of Li-Ming in the doorway.

"So, you're finally up!" She said cheerfully.

"What _happened_?"

"Oh, it was nothing. You just got hit on the head by a piece of the last remaining core, and you passed out for a while."

"How long is a while?"

"Four months. Happy February, by the way."

" _Four months?_ Jeez! How are the others doing?"

"I've been completely fine, Li-Li is still looking for Chen, Tyrande is looking for Malfurion, Jaina's been very cold for no reason recently, Brightwing's been pretty down, oh, and Kael and Sylvanas are an item now."

"So the only people happy in all of this are Kael'thas and Sylvanas."

"Mm-hmm. Oh, and here's the food I came up to give you."

"How have you been making me eat for four months?"

"We put the food in your mouth, grab your jaw and make you chew, and then tilt your head up."

"And i've never choked?"

"Well, maybe once or twice. Want to check on the others?"

"Do I. I'd like to see how awful they look after four months without showers."

* * *

Nova walked down the flight of stairs into what looked like a den. It had a TV with a game console, a mini-fridge, some couches, and, of course, the rest of the group sitting down.

"Friend Nova!" Brightwing shouted, before wrapping herself around the woman's head.

"Greetings. You seem to have taken a nap longer than Malfurion could've." Tyrande said in her cool, feminine voice.

"I see you're finally up, Terra. I must say i've hardly missed you." Sylvanas said. Nova noticed one of her hands was in Kael's, and they were both grinning. The entire team looked very tired and awful. Brightwings antennae were droopy, and she was flying slower than usual. Tyrande had deep bags under her glowing blue eyes, and she had cuts all over her purple skin. Sylvanas' pupils in her red eyes were slightly more visible than usual, which Nova assumed wasn't good. Kael'thas' used-to-be-beautiful golden hair was stringy and oily, and one part was shorter than the rest, as if it had been cut in an attempt to get away from something. Jaina's beautiful blue hood was torn and tattered, and she was covered in dirt. Everyone smelled like a dead carcass that had been microwaved, but apparently only Nova smelt it.

"How have things been while I was out?"

"Not very good." Sylvanas began. "Demons, Lost Minions wanting our blood, chickenpox was going around for awhile, a bunch of people got herpes after doing it with succubi, evil alternate reality versions of ourselves have been going around killing people, evil clones happened, people started to de-age for a bit before Chromie somehow fixed it, Illidan, Butch, Kerrigan, Valla, Nazeebo, Tyrael, Gul'dan, and Medivh are dead, all the Health potions are gone, zombies of civilians are around, we're 90% sure Ka, The Gravekeeper, and that one lady who runs the Garden of Terror are dead too, and nobody has showered in 4 months. So, mildly terrible."

"Mildly terrible? This is essentially the apocalypse, and you've all been just chilling in some den in god knows where! By the way, what is even on the TV?"

"Just On-Demand, nobody's running the Airwaves anymore, _soooo…._ "

"What's our next move?" Nova asked.

"To find the Raven Lord and get his help." Jaina smiled.

"And we're going to accomplish that how?"

"Um… The thing is, we have no clue where the guy is, so…"

Nova facepalmed.

"I can't handle the fact that you've all sat in a den for god knows how long. Just put on some horror movies and then after a few of those we'll try and figure out where the Raven Lord is."

 **Lucario: Her singing, even though she has a generally nice voice in the games she's in, is and always has been awful.**


	11. Chapter 11

The dumb blonde chick tripped in the graveyard, and shrieked at the poorly-made CGI horror villain. He raised his chainsaw and drove it into her. Blood splattered on the nearest wall, spelling out the words 'THE END!'

" _Booooo!_ " was the word that the entire group made when the screening was over.

"That sucked." Nova said, before tossing her can of popcorn behind the couch.

"Now onto the matter at hand. Where would the Raven Lord be hiding?" Jaina stood and told the group. "Any leads?"

"Possibly Cursed Hollow." Kael'thas mentioned.

Nova pointed to him. " _Bingo. Genius._ We start looking now. Where are we, by the way?"

Jaina looked to a map. "A town called Maracliun."

"Which is how far from Cursed Hollow?"

Jaina's face fell. " _30 miles…_ "

* * *

They had stepped outside the basecamp house. A sleeping succubus was at the front door, waiting for somebody to come out.

"Shhhh… We don't want to wake her." Jaina whispered.

"How long will the trip take?" Li-Ming asked, staring up the road.

Nova spotted a car, fresh for the hotwiring. "Not very long at all." She told the group, and they all gave her very confuddled looks.

Nova pointed to the car. She snuck over, and was fiddling with something in it. She gave the group a thumbs up, and told them to jump in. Once the entire group was in, she started the engine. Big mistake. Every demon within 60 feet woke up, and began closing in on them.

Sylvanas shook Nova. "DRIVE, DAMN YOU, DRIVE!" she screamed into Nova's ear. Nova floored it, swerving to avoid demons along the way.

* * *

It was after 30 minutes on the gravel road that Nova looked at the state the Nexus was in. The sky was completely deep orange, and all the trees leaves were blood red. She saw a few run-over mutant animals. Tyrande looked through her window at the misshapen, dead creatures, and said "I vow to Elune I will find the maker of this madness and end them. Crimes against Nature Herself are abhorrent and unforgivable." A civilian or two were spotted, too. Their dresses and noble cloaks torn and dirty, glaring as they drove by.

Three hours later Nova looked in the backseat. Tyrande was picking at a scab, Jaina was inspecting her ripped and shredded hood, and Kael had fallen asleep on Sylvanas, much to Sylvanas', although obviously fake, displeasure.

 _This is fine_. She thought. Then she remembered Penelope. She had forgotten to ask what had happened to the little weasel. _Maybe when we get to Cursed Hollow._ She thought to herself.

* * *

 **Lucario: Yes indeed, the den has bunk beds. The den will be a vital room later on, and not just for the fact that it has video games and a mini fridge.**

 **Consort: Yep. I've always sort of had an AU in my head since I started playing HotS where instead of neat orderly realms with a clear way to win, they had a permadeath system where if you're dead, you better believe you're not coming back.**

 **Sylvanas doesn't need most mortal necessities as an undead. Li-Ming always complained about the hairbrushes breaking. Brightwing, Li-Li, Tyrande, and Jaina need normal mortal things, and with a lack of mana present Kael's been on a sort of withdrawal fritz. Nightmares, Hallucinations, staring blankly at a wall for 5 hours, the works, y'know.**

 **The first to die shall be…..**

… **.** _ **NOPE!**_ **Not telling just yet. But it's gonna be pretty sad, as will other deaths I have planned.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's notes: I hate writing riddles.**

It had been a few hours. Still, when they stepped out, all there was to be said was "I missed you, fresh air."

Li-Ming stepped forward. "We're near the Battleground, but…"

"But what?" Nova replied.

"Everything here is dead as soon as they touch that purple stuff."

On the ground, 30 feet ahead, was a large, purple stain on the ground. Dead animals and civilians surrounded it, all with at least one foot on it.

"How are we supposed to talk to the Raven Lord, when something like _that_ is surrounding it?" Kael'thas said annoyedly.

There was a pause, before they all said at once, "The car again."

* * *

Cursed Hollow was different. It's wooden gates were rotting, it's shrubbery more wilted than usual, and it's cores had become black shrapnel.

Nova cleared her throat. "Raven Lord! Sir, we gotta talk! Your damn lands are in danger!"

Nothing but thunder in the distance.

"All this way for nothing." Li-Ming whispered.

"Greetings, Heroes." A voice boomed from above, making them jump.

"Can you maybe not?!" Nova yelled back to him.

"I apologize. But you clearly came here for a reason. And I would like to know the reason."

"We would like to know why you aren't responding, why you're letting Heroes die, and why you just let this happen." Li-Ming told him brashly.

They could hear him exhale a sigh. "Heroes," He began. "Let me explain it to you this way. Imagine if you would, that you are the leader of a country. You get word from the next country over that a war of some kind has broken out there. Would you rather not tell your civilians as you don't want a large-scale downfall of society, or tell them and watch as the nation crumbles?"

"Coming from an actual leader here," Kael'thas said. "I would prefer the former, as i'm sure the rest of my team would agree."

Sylvanas elbowed him. "Don't suck up to the ass who started this." She growled at him. They threw glares at each other.

"Now, Heroes, I do not need any more deaths. Please stop immediately." The Raven Lord thundered from above.

"Okay, sir, we just need to ask one more question." Nova said.

"And what would that be?" He asked the woman.

"If the Lost Minions have a leader, where are they?"

"Ah, yes. I shall give you it in the form of a riddle."

The group groaned.

"Brightwing only likes riddles if they're happy riddles." Brightwing muttered.

" _Orange hair as deep as the sunset itself, only at that time will they show themself. Words spoken with an icy chill, one of their grievances is the kill. As your heart grinds to a stop, off your head will pop. First time you met one of the first things they did was cry, and at their hands one of you will die._ Now leave Heroes, I must go back into hiding before they find me. After all, what is a land without it's lord?"

A moment passed before Jaina spoke.

"Raven Lord? Are you still there?"

Nothing.

Nova looked to the group. Li-Ming and Jaina were racking their intelligent brains, trying to figure out who it was. Sylvanas and Kael'thas were still glaring at one another. Brightwing just flew, occasionally doing a not-very-happy-looking backflip.

"Alright, you chumps, let's head on home." Nova called to her friends.

* * *

Nova was driving again, as she was the only one who knew how to. She glanced to the backseat like what she had done before. Kael'thas had fallen asleep on Sylvanas' shoulder, as before, however Sylvanas did not have fake displeasure as before. She looked odd, weary, almost, something that should not have been happening to an undead. Brightwing was in the backseat, playing with a toy car she had found. Jaina and Li-Ming were discussing who it could be still, and were writing all their theories on a piece of paper.

Nova sighed. It would've been real helpful if he had told them who or where they were without all the damn riddles. She didn't know where to look. But then it hit her.

Orange hair.

First thing they did was cry.

"Guys? I think I know who it is."

 **Consort: A point goes to you, fine sir! Kael will indeed meet a sticky end, but not that chapter or way. Also, the point system got me thinking. The first person to get 5 points gets to have their own original character in the story.**

 **Lucario: Ooooh! Upgrades! I like the idea! Maybe have one of the more intelligent characters add some sort of technology. It is a very slow, old car, hence why it took so long to get 50 miles.**

 **Oh god, that would be torture for all of them, especially Diablo! The tail would be constantly whipping people in the face.**

 **Also, why all the hate for Tyrande? She's not my favorite character, but I have a chapter planned which would depend on her and Malfurion's connection for nature.**

 **SkullyPirate: WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE TYRANDE SO MUCH?!**


	13. Chapter 13

The group stopped and stared at her. Sylvanas shook Kael'thas awake.

"Who do you think it is?" Jaina asked her.

"It's OBVIOUS! Who else in the Nexus has red hair?"

"Uhh...Muradin?"

"Besides Muradin."

"Falstad."

"Besides Falstad and Muradin!"

"Sonya?"

"BESIDES FALSTAD, MURADIN AND SONYA!"

"Then it would have to be Penelope."

Jaina spoke. "Just because her hair is red doesn't mean anything. A Hero could've turned on us, for all we know."

Nova pulled over, and looked the other woman dead in the eye. "Remember when we first interrogated her? All she did was sob?"

"Of cou- Ohhhhh….. That's what you meant…."

Sylvanas cleared her throat. "Now, if we're all done being moronic, can we figure out where she is?"

Nova thought for a moment. "She's vulnerable at sunset. We spread out through the Nexus. If we can catch her somewhere, we can…" She trailed off.

"We can what, friend Nova?" Brightwing said, innocently oblivious to where the conversation was heading.

"Nothing." Was all that was mumbled in reply.

* * *

Back at the base, all everyone was doing was packing. Nova had just finished putting on a backpack when Li-Ming called.

"So who's going with whom?"

Nova thought for a moment.

"You'll go with Jaina, i'll go with Brightwing, and Kael'thas, Tyrande, and Sylvanas will all go together."

"To where, though?"

"To wherever you think Penelope will be."

"So we just leave and go wherever the wind takes us? Like drifters?"

"Exactly. Now, everyone, I hope you've grabbed a ton of supplies. We'll meet back in 3 days."

"Then what?" Kael'thas said.

"Then I don't know."

 **Lucario: Fair point, but still. The characters I have planned to die will do so on their own time. I've always thought of Tyrande as the type of gal that, even with all the garbage she's going through, will still get through it.**

 **You can make as many bets as you want! Remember: The first person to get 5 gets their own Original Character in the story.**

 **SkullyPirate: You know what, a point to you, fine sir/Ma'am/preferred pronoun. Li-Ming is going to die. And not in a very pretty way, either. Lots of gross.**

 **Consort: Correct, correct, correct, and correct. Penelope's going to be weird, even scary in these next few chapters.**

 **Forget Trump or Hillary, vote Upgrade the Car for the next president of the U.S.**

 **And you can make as many bets as you want.**


	14. Chapter 14

"Alright everyone! We're ready to lea-"

"Hey lady! What about me?" Li Li called to the woman.

Nova's eyes widened, as she had forgotten about the child.

"Oh! Li Li! That's right! My bad, kid. But I think it would be best if you stayed here instead of going on the Penelope hunt with us."

"But _whyyyyy_?" Li Li whined.

Nova kneeled in front of the child, and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You're just a kid. I don't particularly like to see kids hurt. Plus, you can't take a lot of damage. And what about Chen? What if he shows up here, and you're not here to reunite with him?"

Li Li's eyebrows, or what looked like eyebrows on her fur, turned in an angry direction. "But you'll need healers! Those things can't get hit without someone burning them to death or shooting them in the face!"

"We'll be fine." Nova said, before giving her a reassuring smile.

"If you say so." Li Li muttered, before plopping herself on the couch and grabbing the T.V remote.

Nova could still hear her muttering, and heard her mutter a particularly nasty cuss.

"I'll be telling your uncle you said that!" Nova called to her.

* * *

"Wow, this place is…" Nova began.

They were standing at the large, wooden door for the castle just outside of Dragon Shire, where the Nobles would stand and watch the Heroes relentlessly beat each other to death.

"Friend Nova, Brightwing thinks this place is pretty!" Brightwing said.

"I don't think pretty is a good enough word. More like stunning."

The castle was painted a soft pink, with cherry red rooftops. The top windows alone were taller than anyone in the group, and two suits of armor were placed next to the wooden door.

Pushing it open had been easy. Inside the castle, it was obvious that the nobles that watched the games lived here. The walls were pure gold, and the floors silver.

"I bet you people break their arms on that floor more times than countable." Nova joked to her friend.

"What are we even here for, Friend Nova?" Brightwing said.

"Penelope is a leader, right? Don't leaders hang around castles?"

"I guess so, Friend Nov-"

Brightwing stopped speaking.

"What is it?" Nova whispered.

"Brightwing hears someone." Brightwing replied. Brightwing looked around, before spotting a nearby table. She grabbed the Ghost by her ponytail and dragged her under it.

"Brightwing, wha-"

"Shhh…."

Nova listened closely. She heard footsteps approaching, walking down stairs.

"Lord Sephiroth-" A voice said.

"What did I say about that name?! It's Mince, you bumbling idiot!" The voice of Mince rang out.

"I apologize, M'lord."

Nova peeked out from under the table. Mince's helmet was off, and he was wearing black and silver robes. His hair was so white it looked bleached. It was sloppily chopped in a Justin Beiber-esque haircut. Even though he was supposed to be biologically 18, he was very short, and had a baby face. The person, a woman, who was speaking to him, was, simply put, lovely. Her blonde hair was in two pigtails, in such a way that it looked like it had been ripped from the head of Hatsune Miku. Her outfit was a simple grass green dress, with a white vest. Her lipstick was a sharp orange, and her eyes were blue. She had a nametag on, and it read "Lo". She looked about 14, so only about 4 days since her creation.

"Lo, do you know why you have the name I gave you?" Mince asked her.

Lo looked down at her feet. "No, sir." she replied.

"Because you are low on the social food chain, and I wanted to give you a name that fit that. But I didn't want it to be too direct. You are a gift from Penelope. Unless you want me regifting you to an _executioner_ , you should learn my name." Mince smirked as he said the last part.

"Y-yes, sir."

"Friend Nova, we have to help her!"

"Keep quiet!"

The footsteps slowly faded away, leaving them in the dark silence. Nova held Brightwings hand as they crawled out from under the feast table.

"I think I know who to get info out from, now." Nova said.

 **Skull: Thanks! I just said all that because i'm actually really scared of offending people.**

 **And what would Nexus Hell even be like? I'm guessing the Game Masters themselves come out to constantly beat you to death with nerf bats. Poor Mingy.**

 **Lucario: Woah. You really did your research, holy crap. Assassination seems ok, but Ego? Oh yeah, baby. Mingy has quite the Ego. Also monologuing, as someone who played Diablo 3 as her, sweet Mother Teresa is she a talker.**

 **Consort: Attaching rails to it...Actually seems pretty smart! But unless they give it the strength of a freight, it don't think it'd get far. Rails are heavy, and having large, non-human creatures in them would slow it down by a lot.**

 **No, he's not going to die in that way. But, if he was, it would probably happen if he was: A. Pyroblasting a whole lot, and not paying attention to his surroundings (Or his teammates telling him to "RUN, F*CKING RUN"), or B: He's trying to save someone and ends up sacrificing himself to get them to safety. Or an earthquake, if the Nexus has those.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Authors notes: Because some people live in different timezones, i'll update at 11:30 PM to 1:20 AM in the Eastern US (Where I live) timezone.**

"Tyrande! You and your owl might want to get a look at this!" Sylvanas yelled to the woman.

"Sylvanas, if it's another rat floating in a bucket, i'm not interes- _SWEET ELUNE!"_

There, in front of all 3 of them, was a deer. A deer that looked like it was ready to collapse any second. Its brown fur was a punch red, its antlers decaying like a tooth with a bad cavity. The poor things teeth had grown into painful looking fangs, and its eyes were a light pink, with green ooze coming out of the corners.

"In all my years…." Tyrande whispered.

"Who here votes to put this poor thing out of its misery? It clearly looks like every inch of it hurts." Kael'thas said, recoiling in sadness and disgust at the sight of it.

"Maybe, just maybe, I can heal it." Tyrande stepped forward, and outstretched her hand towards the deer.

"Tyrande, NO!" Sylvanas shouted.

Kael'thas and Tyrande, who had not been expecting the shout, jumped in surprise.

Tyrande looked Sylvanas in the eye. "And why should I not help this poor child of Elune herself?"

"Because i've seen this on the other animals. The other day, I peeked out the window at a rabbit who had this. A woman ran up to it, and when she touched it, every inch of her was covered in horrible blight, pus, blood, rashes, and infections. Do you want your skin looking like Jeff Goldblum in _The Fly_ , especially with all those cuts?"

Tyrande pulled her hand back, and looked in sorrow at the creature.

Kael'thas let out a gasp of horror.

"I don't mean to alarm you, ladies, but they're closing in…" He pointed a manicured finger to the edge of the forest. All around them, animals with a similar condition had noticed Tyrande about to heal their fellow animal, and were walking towards them to see if they could be helped, even though the deer was still the same.

"This is not good…" Sylvanas mumbled Suddenly, in her mind, something clicked.

"Sunstrider!" She turned towards Kael'thas. "Could you conjure us some rope?"

"Of course, but I see no use of it, other than to hang ourselves with after they touch us and we become mutant freaks."

"Just conjure the rope, Sunstrider."

Kael weaved a spell, with blue and green sparks flying everywhere, and eventually, in a cloud of smoke, there was a long bundle of rope in his hands.

Kael'thas handed the rope to Sylvanas, and Sylvanas began to unbundle it.

"Sylvanas, they're nearly here, hurry it up, child!" Tyrande yelled in a panic.

They both looked at what Sylvanas was doing. She was tying the rope around her bow, in a clear panic as well.

"Sylvanas! We don't have a lot of time left!" Kael shouted.

"Got it! Hold on to _anything_ but my crotch!" She shouted She shot an arrow with the rope attached on it towards the tip of a tree. They flew like they were on a grappling hook, and landed softly on a long tree branch. The infected animals looked around in confusion, before letting out whimpers of pain, and walked away.

" _Sylvanas, that was- I can't believe-_ BY THE SUNWELL, I LOVE YOU!" Kael'thas shouted.

"That's the first time you've said you've loved me since last week." Sylvanas said.

Kael's ears hung low in pure embarrassment.

"If it's anything to help, Kael, I only say "I love you" to Malfurion once, rarely twice a month." Tyrande said as she placed a hand on his armored shoulder.

* * *

It had been 5 hours in the tree.

"What are we _STILL_ doing up here?" Kael'thas complained.

"We have to make sure that those things aren't still down there, so calm yourself before your man-panties get in a knot." Sylvanas replied.

Tyrande blinked. "You don't think those poor animals disease is linked with Penelope becoming the ruler of the Minions, do you?" She asked.

"Why? What would it matter?" Sylvanas said as she picked a red leaf off the branch.

"Maybe if we kill her, the disease on the animals will... Go away." Tyrande said.

Sylvanas scoffed. "You clearly have no clue how diseases work. They don't just 'go away'. Most, if not all, of these animals will be dead by the end of the year. I promise you."

"It might be some type of a magical affliction, Sylvanas. Perhaps if we do, eh, 'exterminate' that girl, Penelope, everything will be reversed. We must persevere on!"

Sylvanas sighed. "If you and me weren't a thing, i'd backhand you back to the base for your sheer arrogance, Kael'thas."

"So any leads on where Penelope might be?" Tyrande interrupted.

Kael'thas looked to the west. "It's nearly sundown. If that little lyric the Raven Lord gave us was correct, she's outside her bases, unguarded at sunset, which is an idiotic move for such an important leader."

"Should we head out of this tree?" Tyrande asked.

"Most definitely. I don't even have much feeling in my legs and they still feel stiff."

They hopped down, and only came down from such a height that a simple "Ouch, my ankle!" was said by Kael'thas.

"Do you see any possible areas where she might be?" Kael'thas asked.

Tyrande looked, her shining blue eyes darting the landscape.

"Possibly that castle out there, just outside Dragon shire. The one with the pink walls and red roof?" Tyrande suggested.

"Good idea." Sylvanas said. "I have a feeling fate wants us to go there, as well. Just a nag, though."

 **Skull: Yep, Mince is a douche. The only reasons he's doing this is because A. He likes power and B. He likes Penelope.**

 **The Nobles? Just wandering, trying not to catch whatever those animals got.**

 **Lucario: Penelope is good at naming things. That is a scientifically proven fact. where the name Mince came from is simple. I live in New Jersey, and that dumb show, Jersey Shore, basically made NJ look like a sack of dog diarrhea. SO I funneled my hate for it into one character. I also made a name that sounded like it would be from Jersey Shore.**

 **I think it specifically stated somewhere that Li Li has a wanderlust, meaning she goes wherever the hell she wants whenever she wants. And the den is not well fortified. It's a basement where they watch movies and play Soul Caliber V.**

 **P.S: Music I listen to when I write a chapter, if anyone's interested. watch?v=1yf_Jj5C3J8**

 **watch?v=egUQju95vT8**

 **watch?v=uGjHsLnUO1U**

 **watch?v=FMDxKRx10mU**

 **watch?v=LBr7kECsjcQ**

 **watch?v=L_Qo4VlS1K8**

 **watch?v=Q_QEPrkwZ-Q**

 **watch?v=aJpOTKUv6AE**

 **watch?v=EDvFSlHNMCQ**

 **watch?v=-u46bAl1kZg**

 **watch?v=OsjTBdiPq8o**

 **watch?v=qP78Bu_npY**


	16. Chapter 16

"So, what's the plan, Proudmoore?" Li-Ming stepped in front of the mage, a girlish smile on her face.

Jaina sighed. "I told you, we just wander and try to find Penelope."

Li-Ming plopped herself down on a large rock. "I thought this was going to be _fun_ , you know?"

Jaina looked at her confusedly. " _What?"_ she said.

"You're one of the nicest, funniest people in the Nexus. And here you are, acting all serious-business."

"I'm sorry, Li-Ming, but when our lives are at stake, i'd rather not take it light-heartedly."

"Whatever."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Li-Ming snapped.

"OH! SO NOW YOU WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE?! WELL I'M SORRY I'M NOT ALL THAT GOOD OF A PERSON TO TALK TO! I'M SORRY I CALL MYSELF A WIZARD WHEN YOU'RE ALL LIKE 'OH NO, YOU SHOULD CALL YOURSELF A MAGE!'"

" _Because you should_!"

"THIS IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY! PEOPLE LIKE YOU! ARTHAS LOVES YOU, BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HIM BECAUSE HE'S ' _EVIL!_ ' KAEL'THAS LOVES YOU TOO, BUT EVEN THOUGH HE'S PERFECTLY FINE IN THE HEAD, YOU STILL TURN HIM DOWN BECAUSE ' _OOOH, THERE'S TOO MUCH OF AN AGE GAP!'_ AND ' _OOH, I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO ELVES!'_ AND ' _ISN'T HE IN A THING WITH SYLVANAS NOW?!_ ' YOU LABEL EVERYONE, YOU DON'T GET TOO CLOSE TO ANYBODY BECAUSE YOU THINK THEY'RE JUST GOING TO DIE, JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER AND BROTHER! AND NOW YOU'RE LABELING ME 'A MAGE' BECAUSE I USE MAGIC!"

Jaina went red in the face.

"I have a perfect reply to that, Li-Ming." She spat out acidically. "One, I know people like me! I try to have a friendship with everyone, except _some_ people just have to go and make it harder! I'm not in love with Arthas anymore because he slaughtered innocent people, killed his father, destroyed Quel'thalas, Kael and Sylvanas' homeland, and started basically a zombie apocalypse on Azeroth! Wouldn't you stop liking a man if he did that, too? The reason I turn Kael'thas down is because yes, that age gap is the Grand Canyon of age-gaps! Do you know how old Kael'thas is? He may look pretty young, but he's actually _236 years old_ , Li-Ming. That's just creepy! Also, so what if i'm not attracted to Elves? I can have preferences! I'm not a sex-crazed nuthouse like some other girls! And yes, he's in a relationship with Sylvanas! I don't want to ruin that! It's the only time i've seen both of them genuinely happy at the same time. I saw Sylvanas sneak two rings into her pocket the other day! I'd look like a _conceited slut_ if I just went and kissed Kael in front of Sylvanas! I do not label people, either! I call you a mage because you are one, and it's silly to call yourself a 'wizard'. And how dare you mention my father and Derek in such a disrespectful light!"

Li-Ming shook angrily. " _I can mention your father and brother however the hells I please. I did you a favor there. I didn't even mention your fetish with Orcs!"_

"I do not have an Orc fetish! My friendship with Thrall is purely politics-related!"

"Oh sure! I noticed that photo in your pants last month when I was snooping in your room!"

Jaina blushed. "How dare you go through my clothes!"

"Oh, I did. You should see a gynecologist, honey. Your underwear looks like somebody blew their nose in it!"

Jaina turned even more red. "You had _no_ right to go through my underwear drawer either!"

"Oh, I did. That's where I found the money I stole!"

"I demand you give that back this instant!"

"Not until you admit your infatuation with all things Orc-related!"

"Well, i'm not going to speak to you until you admit your infatuation with Sonya."

Li-Ming's face went pale. "S-Sonya? How did you…"

"How did I know? I see you, whenever you talk to her. You go completely red, and you start sweating. Not a good sign if you're trying to hide it from her."

"How dare you! If you tell her, i'll tell Thrall...I'll tell him…"

Jaina whirled around and slapped her. "YOU'LL TELL HIM _WHAT_ , SKANK?! _YOU'LL TELL HIM WHAT?!"_

Li-Ming held her face for a second, tears springing into her eyes and her whimpering filling the air.

Jaina's anger subsided, and she was horrified at herself. She reached out for Li-Ming's shoulder. "L-Li-Ming! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to- I didn't want to…"

Li-Ming sniffed. "FIRST A MAGE, AND _NOW_ A SKANK?!" she shouted, before sprinting into the forest.

"LI-MING! WAIT!" Jaina shouted, running after her.

* * *

Jaina found Li-Ming, sitting on a log next to a lovely clear pond, bawling her eyes out. Jaina walked over and sat next to her.

"Li-Ming…" She said, softly.

"What do you want? Do you want to slap me and call me a skank again?" Li-Ming muttered, miserably.

"No, Li-Ming, no… I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean what I said, and i'm sorry. If you want to be called a wizard, i'll respect your wishes and call you as such."

Li-Ming forced a laugh. "Sounds like Kael'thas' uptight sentence wording is getting to you." She giggled.

"Oh, gods! Am I really starting to sound like him?"

"Heheh. Yeah."

Jaina let out a sigh. "Listen," She began. "I won't tell Sonya that you like her, if you don't tell Thrall about my, quote-unquote, 'Orc fetish'."

Li-Ming exhaled, and rubbed the tears off her cheeks. "I think I want to tell Sonya myself that I like her, like Sylvanas did."

"Oh, are you going to tell her like that? Just replace every Sunstrider with Sonya?"

"Wait, I forget. How did she say it?"

Jaina cleared her throat. "'Kael'thas Anasterian Sunstrider, you were present at my birth, mainly because your father forced you to watch as 'it was natural'. From the instant my infant eyes saw your face, i've loved you. Will you, I don't know, play _Mortal Kombat_ and have a marathon of _The Walking Dead with me?_ ' and then Kael'thas went, 'Um, Sylvanas? Don't you remember, Li-Ming already told me? I fell unconscious? You carried me for 3 whole miles? But sure, yes, let's play some _Mortal Kombat,_ but I call Scorpion."

Li-Ming snorted and laughed. "Hold on, hold on, _Mortal Kombat_ and _The Walking Dead_ were the best things Sylvanas could come up with for a romantic night?"

"Well, they didn't exactly have a better thing to do. Penelope's takeover, remember?"

"Oh yeah."

They sat in silence for 2 minutes, before Li-Ming spoke up.

"You know, I really like you, Jaina."

Jaina's heartbeat sped up. "P-platonically, right?"

Li-Ming leaned towards her face, her lips pursed. Jaina scooted away.

"I'm sorry, Li-Ming. I just don't like girls like that. You're really nice and all, but I prefer boys."

Li-Ming pulled away, and flushed red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I guess I should've known, what with your 'sort-of-romantic' track-record."

"No, it's okay. I find it great you're like that. The Nexus could use a little individuality in spectrums like that."

"Jaina?"

"Yes, Li-Ming?"

"What if Sonya doesn't like girls, too?"

Jaina thought for a moment, before going "I don't know, Mingy. I really don't. But the rest of the group will be here for support."

Li-Ming rubbed her eyes. "Nearly started crying again. We should get going, but where?"

It was then that they heard familiar voices.

"Ouch, my ankle!" Kael'thas shouted, his green, glowing eyes visible from even there.

"Do you see any possible areas where she might be?" He said.

Tyrande's glowing blue eyes could be seen, scanning the landscape.

"Possible that castle there, just outside Dragon Shire. The one with the pink walls and red roof?"

"Good idea." Sylvanas said. "I have a feeling fate wants us to go there. Just a nag, though."

"Guys!" Li-Ming shouted. Running over to them.

"Mingy, such a pleasure to see you, child." Tyrande said, hugging Li-Ming.

Li-Ming laughed. "You don't have to use the pet name."

"I find it a better way to connect with people, and you seen fine with it, like how Kael's fine with being called Kael."

"Actually, i'm not-"

Sylvanas elbowed Kael'thas. "You're fine with it." She said.

"Whatever you say, lady."

 **Consort: you're close, but still pretty far to the way Kael's life will be snuffed out.**

 **That would be a good idea, Lo doesn't hold very much respect for Mince for the way he treats her*. A rebellion would be nice, with her on their side. And yes, she does get handed very important info a lot, and she reads it when nobody's looking. Because of that, she had not only learned why they're doing this to the Nexus, but also Penelope's secret brownie recipe!**

 ***Lo is a girl.**


	17. Chapter 17

"Are we nearly there?" Kael'thas complained.

"Kael'thas, we've only been walking for ten minutes, and yes, we are almost there. Honestly, you _never_ stop yapping." Sylvanas muttered the last part.

"Wow." Li-Ming exclaimed, as she took in the beauty of the castle.

"The architecture, the placement of the arches, the tinted glass!" Kael'thas let out a dramatic sigh. "This almost puts the Sunstrider Palace I grew up in to shame! _Almost_."

They pushed open the castle doors, to a large hallway of near silence.

"Why is it made of such rare metals?" Tyrande observed the floor, and let out a little yelp as she banged her toe against the wall.

Suddenly, inexplicably, a voice from behind rang out!

"You guys!" it called.

The entire group screamed, before recognizing the voice.

"November Terra! Long time no see!" Li-ming said.

"Shh! Keep it down! We don't want them to hear us!" Nova replied back.

The entire group looked around. "W-who might be watching us? Where are they?" Kael'thas asked. He looked around again. "And speaking of where, where are you, as well?"

"I'm under a cloak! And 'they' are Lo and Mince."

Tyrande looked confused. "Who?" she asked.

"Remember that one guy that named himself Sephiroth? Well, he's, like, 2nd in command for Penelope and he _apparently_ commissioned Penelope or something to make him a slave with low social ranking and little to no freedom to do what she wants or speak her mind. There's your little explanation. And now we're going to sneak into her room, get her to tell us where Penelope is, and then we keep her as a comedic relief."

"Where's her room?"

Nova pointed towards the end of the hallway, near a large window.

"Brightwing's already sitting out front the door, waiting to polymorph the girl if she starts to fight back."

They walked through the hall, careful to make as little noise as possible.

Nova disabled her cloak, and gave Brightwing the signal to start attacking. Brightwing lunged through the doorway, and landed on the girl's head, messing up her Miku-esque pigtails. Lo screamed and grabbed Brightwing by the antennae, and forced her to the ground. She grabbed a small dagger from inside a pocket on her dress. Nova screamed "GO! GET IN THERE!" and the entire team rushed through the doorway, and grabbed her, ready to break her arms if needed. The girl thrashed and bit the hand of Tyrande, who screamed and let go of Lo. Lo was now free and was scrambling across the room. Sylvanas notched an arrow, and shot Lo in the leg. Lo screamed, and ripped it out. She turned to Sylvanas, before rushing over and slicing her face with the dagger. Sylvanas dropped, And Kael stopped casting spells to check on her. She had a large, deep gash from her cheekbone to her chin. Kael'thas ripped a piece of his fancy cape off, and put it on Sylvanas' face in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Nova noticed Kael had stopped. "Kael! Stop! Just leave her, we've got to focus on the little brat trying to dice us up!"

Lo ran up to Nova and slashed her calf, making Nova fall to the ground in pain.

Kael'thas noticed how fast the girl was running, and the particular pattern of which part of the room at a time. He began doing some calculations in his head.

Brightwing polymorphed the girl into a small little chicken, but it only lasted five seconds before she changed back and ran to the corner of the room where there was a bookshelf.

Kael'thas knew his calculations had to be correct. They were always correct. He had predicted that she would now run to the corner of the room with the laptop on the desk, and he was correct. He ran over, grabbed her by the hair, and lifted her off the ground.

"OW! OOWWW! _WATCH THE HAAAAIIIRRRR!_ " She whined.

"I know that hurts, because my father did this to me as a child when I acted up, more times than countable!" Kael'thas shouted over the girls yelps of pain.

Nova painstakingly stood up. "Good job, Kael! Now, we just need to ask out little friend here some questions!"

Kael'thas remembered Sylvanas in the corner of the room, and told Nova, "Actually, can you hold her for interrogation? We have an injured woman on the floor."

Kael'thas handed Lo to Nova and rushed over to Sylvanas.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

She lifted herself off the ground, and replied with a "Yes, and you shouldn't be do worried about me, Sunstrider. I can take care of myself, after all."

"Sorry if I care whether or not you die."

Sylvanas was taken aback. "Oh, no! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant that every time I get hurt, you're always to the rescue, mopping up my blood with bits of cloth and cape. You don't need to do that. You're wrecking that cape."

Nova called the two over.

"She says that Penelope's set up shop in the Raven Lord's palace. We have to go there."

Brightwing nearly choked on her own tongue. "Friend Nova! Tell Brightwing you're kidding!"

Nova put her hand on the tiny creatures shoulder. "Friend Nova ain't kidding. But we're going to need some help. Anybody have any ideas on where all the others are? We're going to need an actual goddamn army if we want to storm the place."

Jaina spoke. "We're going to check every square mile of inhabited Nexus until everyone's found. But I say we start with the towns, preferably big ones. People will be desperate for supplies, and i'm pretty sure nobody else but Tyrande, Lunara, and Malfurion know how to plant and garden and farm."

"Which town first?"

Jaina looked at a map on the table.

We should start in the far northwest. But the first town there, Alclimius, is a long time away. About fifteen days on foot, and we just don't have that kind of time. I can teleport us there if you want."

"Yeah, teleportation seems fine."

Jaina began the spell. Brilliant blue lights filling the air. A hole in the air opened, with a faint image of Alclimius in it.

"Okay, everyone, one at a ti- HEY! I SAID ONE AT A TIME! YOU GUYS!"

 **Consort: Damn straight it's fudge brownies. Who the hell doesn't like fudge brownies? Except for people with an allergy to stuff in brownies and fudge. Then I understand.**

 **Oh yeah, the people who lived in that castle are like that. As soon as their pretty pink castle's back, it'll be back to backstabbing best friends and poisoning the social punch bowl with lies about other people.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Authors notes: From now on, expect a lot of references from an Anime called Corpse Party. My friend got me into it, and now I can't stop screaming "SEEEIIIKOOOOO".**

Alclimius was a wreck. The fires were out, but the houses were still charred and blackened. A few imps ran here or there, and valuables were strewn all over the street.

"I did _not_ expect it to be this ruined." Nova admitted.

"If they're this far north, then everywhere is unsafe." Jaina said.

They wandered through the destroyed town, occasionally glancing at a few broken vendor stalls and destroyed town homes.

"These poor people are going to have a lot of explaining to do to their landlords." Nova muttered, looking at a completely wrecked house.

"Guys? I think I found something!" Li-Ming yelled. They all ran towards her. It was a cellar door, surrounded by broken pieces of wood.

"Friends! We should open it!" Brightwing suggested

Someone opened the door before Brightwing, and just quick enough for Kael'thas to screech like a woman in surprise.

"Oi, loves!" The bubbly voice of Tracer called.

"Tracer? Who is it?" Chromie yelled from down below.

"You'll never guess who I just found, Chomie!"

"I just asked you who it was."

Tracer squinted, and counted the group.

"Sniper lady, Ice Girl, Fairy Thing, Omega Orb, Corpse Party, Fire Guy, and Hatsune's Blonde Cousin."

"So Nova, Jaina, Brightwing, Li-Ming, Sylvanas, Kael'thas, and somebody else?"

"Yep."

"Okay, let them down."

"Follow me, loves!"

* * *

"Your base is, like, 50 times better than ours." Nova said, examining the room. There were 10 soft-looking, fluffy beds in one corner, a flat-screen with every video game and DVD imaginable, a computer lab, a library, and best of all…

"IS THAT A SECTION COMPLETELY DEVOTED TO MAGIC?!" Li-Ming shouted. Jaina, Kael'thas, and Li-Ming ran over immediately and all began to fight over the same book, the tussle eventually ending with Jaina getting the book because she jabbed Kael'thas and Li-Ming in the eyes with her staff.

"I agree with November. This absolutely puts our base to shame." Sylvanas said.

Nova coughed for a second. "We forgot about Li Li." She said to the rest of her team.

Jaina sighed. "I'll go get her." She muttered, before opening a portal into the base. She looked in.

"Strange," she muttered. "She's not in there. Hey, guys, i'll be right back!"

"Wait! Jaina! Toss me and Li-Ming the- Damn it, she's already gone with the book." Kael'thas' face took on an annoyed appearance.

"Eh. There's many more books here. I call dibs on '101 Curses and Hexes'!"

"NOT IF I GET IT FIRST!"

* * *

"Li Li!" Jaina yelled, scanning the area. The girl was nowhere to be found.

"Li Li, I know you've been here, I see soda cans everywhere. Honestly, we should've never let a kid alone by herself." She said, picking up an empty two-liter.

"Jaina!" Whispered a voice from behind the couch.

"There you are, Li Li! What are you doing behind-"

"No time to explain, just get behind here!" She hissed.

Jaina squeezed behind the couch with Li Li.

"What's going on?"

"It's almost 5, right?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Then he's almost here."

"Who's he?"

Just then, the door upstairs was clicking. It opened with a loud THUD! And something very large stepped in.

"That's him." Li Li whispered.

The thing stepped down the stairs, making a noise as loud as a T.V falling with every step. When he got to the bottom, the full horror of his appearance became visible. His skin was a deep red, and looked like it had more cuts and infections than countable. His hair was a scrambled brown mess, and his hair was covered in twigs and leaves. He held a meat cleaver soaked with red blood, and he held a dead rabbit in one hand. On top of all that, he was almost 10 feet tall, and had to crouch to get in the doorway.

"How long has this thing been bothering you?" Jaina whispered.

"Since you left, every hour on the hour."

"Little panda, where you?" he growled, his stupidity visible with his bad grammar.

"Does he want to eat you?" Jaina whispered.

"I think so. Either that, or make me it's personal slave or something."

"Little panda, me hear you." He stepped towards the couch, and grabbed it with one hand.

"Little panda brought friend for me to eat!" he exclaimed happily.

Jaina flung a spell at his face, his ugly mug frozen in happiness beneath the ice.

"Li Li, we don't have a lot of time! Get in the portal and GO!" Jaina shouted before grabbing Li Li by the neck of her shirt and throwing her through the portal. Jaina lept in herself, and closed it just as the creature unfroze and let out a screech of anger.

"What just happened?" Chromie said as she walked up to the two.

"Long story short, a monster wanted to eat my face." Jaina replied.

"It's just as I feared. The Minions are ripping the Nexus apart as they're harvesting it for magic, and it's letting horrible demons and monsters in." Chromie explained.

"They're tearing apart the Nexus… for magic?" Jaina asked.

"I know, it seems far-fetched, and who knows what they're doing with it. All I know is that it's hurting the foundations of the Nexus itself, and if this continues, the Nexus might implode on itself!"

The entire room soaked up the severity of the situation, and the atmosphere became heavy. That was, until shouts came from the other room.

"Who's-" Kael'thas began, before he was cut off by Chromie.

"Who's in there?" She said, in an almost perfect imitation of Kael'thas. She snickered. "Diablo, Lt. Morales, and Sgt. Hammer are in there. I forgot to tell you they were here. Go in and greet them."

As they stepped into the room, the Heroes sitting on the couch stood up and turned.

"MY GOOD FRIEND, KAEL'THAS!" Diablo shouted, before picking Kael'thas up and giving him a hug that nearly squeezed all the air out of the Elf's lungs.

"H-hello. Nice to...see you...too…." Kael'thas said, as he began to suffocate.

Sgt. Hammer nudged Diablo. "Let the guy go. His face is turnin' purple for a reason."

Diablo let go of Kael'thas, and Kael fell to the floor, gasping for air.

"I didn't know you were friends with Diablo." Sylvanas whispered to Kael.

"I didn't know, either. But the more you know, eh?" He whispered back.

* * *

"So is this little gaggle all the Heroes in Alclimius?" Nova asked.

"Oh not even close," Chromie said. "There are a ton more that we haven't found yet, we see them sometimes raiding the vendors or mugging people."

"So we're going to stay here for a bit more until we're absolutely sure we've found everyone." Nova announced.

"So what do we do for now?"

"I don't know. Sleep, play video games, read, sleep, sleep, sleep."

"You're tired again, aren't you?" Li-Ming chuckled.

"You better believe it."

"Well the beds here are for extra people if we run out of room. The actual bedrooms are down that hall, go pick out one you like." Chromie said, before letting out a little cough.

 **Skull: Yeah, he is pretty smart, and yeah, he does care a lot about Sylvanas, and that might not be very good for his track record of 'not dying.' *Cough* FORESHADOWING *Cough* And you can get fudge brownies at your local Shop-Rite, I believe. And/or Giant, depending on where you live.**


	19. Chapter 19

It had been quiet for the last 4 hours, and Nova had gotten a better sleep than she had for the 4 months she was out. There were no nightmares, or dreams where she thought she had woken up inside her dream and that the cores being destroyed had been a dream inside her dream. This time, her dreams were more...odd. There was momentarily a crowd cheering, but it was gone too fast for Nova to recognize anyone. The rest was just displaced garbage from the stuff that had been happening for the past few days, with weird gobbledygook thrown in to reassure herself that it wasn't reality. Still, she had woken up at about 9 at night, to only hear a T.V playing in the other room. She wandered out into the hallway, the cement floor of the large cellar making her wish she was still under the covers. The room the noise was coming from was a door painted purple, with a silver doorknob. The door was opened slightly, so Nova enabled her cloak to make the person behind the door think that it was just a gust of air from a fan, and not a woman making the door open. When the door was open, Nova saw Li-Ming staring in curiosity at the open door, a movie playing and a bowl of popcorn in her lap.

"Now how did…" Li-Ming began.

Nova stepped into the room, and slid under the bed, a prank formulating in her mind.

"It must've been nothing." Li-Ming said as she closed the door and sat back down on the bed.

Nova inhaled a deep breath for the ultimate song she was about to sing. Already the room smelled of Li-Ming's perfume. Nova opened her mouth and began.

"AAAAND WHEN THE MOOON HITS YOUR EYEEE LIKE A BIIIG PIIIIIZA PIE-"

Li-Ming stood up and yelped, the bowl of popcorn spilling everywhere. She looked under the bed, only to see nothing.

"How in the name of the hells?!"

Nova disabled her cloak, and smirked at Li-Ming. "That's amore." She finished quietly.

* * *

Nova was downstairs making a new bowl of popcorn for Li-Ming. Although she had laughed along with Nova, Li-Ming promptly grabbed the nearest hairbrush and smacked Nova in the face, before sternly telling her "New bowl of popcorn. Now."

The kitchen area was a nice touch. The granite counter tops were, most unusually, not cold, but warm. It had a little breakfast island, the kind with stools around it and a bowl of fruit in the center.

After Nova had made the popcorn, she looked upon the kitchen and wondered where Chromie had gotten the time to do all of it. Maybe she could slow the movement of time around her? No, others would have noticed that they went slower inexplicably, and from how Chromie explained the Bronze Dragonflight, even if she did do it, it would've most likely broken more than a few rules.

She was walking down the hall when Diablo, Sylvanas, and Kael'thas bumped into her, nearly making her spill the contents of the bowl.

"Hey, fragile!" she said.

"I apologize, but we're going to do an experiment." Kael'thas said.

"What are you doofuses doing now?"

"Diablo is going to cook a slab of ham with his breath in 3 seconds, and then we're going to see if I can carve the thing using only my fingernails. Oh, and Sylvanas is going to record it using my phone and post it to Multitube." Kael'thas replied, and Sylvanas held up a bright red Hearthphone to show her.

"Just don't burn this popcorn in the process, okay?"

"Speaking of popcorn…" Kael'thas began. He dug his fingernails into the bowl, and when he brought his hand up, he had a piece of popcorn impaled on each fingernail.

"Hey!" Nova exclaimed.

"Oh, relax, Terra. It's not like he stuck them in dirt, so your precious popcorn is still uncontaminated." Sylvanas rolled her eyes at Nova.

"Whatever. I just need to bring these to Li-Ming, so get outta my way."

* * *

Nova opened the door, and stared at what was before her. Jaina was sitting on Li-Ming's bed, watching the movie with her. The thing was, Li-Ming had her hair down.

"Hair." Nova said, dumbfounded.

"Oh, relax. It's not like I shaved it all off."

"Still, it just looks….odd. Like staring at the face of God himself, and realizing God is actually an alpaca."

"It's not that bad looking, is it?" Li-Ming asked.

"No, but it's just…"

"I like it, Nova. Now let's move on. Hand me that popcorn."

"What's the magic word, Mingy?"

"Gimme."

"Close enough." Nova said, and handed the bowl to Li-Ming.

"I've been feeling kinda scared, you guys." Jaina said.

"About what, exactly?" Li-Ming asked.

"About our immortality being gone."

"We'll fix it."

"I know, but what if we fix it, and the people who already died...don't respawn?"

"Why would that be?"

"I don't know. It's definitely worrying me though. What if I die, and you guys fix it, but I don't come back? These are serious questions."

"Whatever happens, we'll find a way to fix."

"What if it's unfixable?"

"Then I honestly don't know. I guess we'll just have to live with it."

The room was in total silence, except for the movie.

"Did everything just get super heavy during a viewing of _Finding Nemo_?" Nova asked.

"I guess it did." Li-Ming said.

 **Consort: Speaking of the assault on the Castle, I have a ton of new Lost Minion characters planned, and not exactly the redeemable kind.**

 **And yes, thankfully, there are showers.**

 **In relation to "SEIKO, NO!", sit down for personal story time! One time, after school, me and my friends were getting snacks from a 7/11, and we bought average stuff, y'know. Soda, chips, candy, but the pinnacle of it was a not 1, not 2, but 3 liter bottle of cherry Pepsi. Our spot where we eat this stuff is on a little curb, where people stare at us as we're eating Skittles and doing our math homework at the same time. One of my friends, who i'll call Stacy for privacy reasons, is a huge weeb. The one Anime she had gotten me hooked to was Corpse Party, and today she asked me if I had finished watching the, quote unquote, 'Seiko goes the way of the Salem Witches' part. So you know what I did? I screamed "SEEEEEEEIIIIIKOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO" as loud as humanly possible, and Stacy got so startled that she spilled cherry Pepsi all over my new shoes.**


	20. Chapter 20

The explosion rang through the cellar like a bomb. The ground shook, and most things fell to the ground. The cellar door burst open, and something ginormous nearly broke the stairs going down.

"What's going on?!" Chromie yelled.

"Oh. It's just Cho and Gall." Nova said, pointing to the man.

"It's Cho'Gall!" Cho screamed.

"We are one being!" Gall screeched.

"Ouch. Sorry, I didn't realize that you preferred that." Nova replied.

"The small mortal has apologized to us. Should we accept?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, and we brought respected mutuals!"

"Who?"

"Greyhair, Raybeam, Lady's Man, Beef patty, Holy Girl, Angel Wings, Russia, My First OC, Brother Nature, and Swords!"

Chromie facepalmed. "You mean," she began through clenched teeth, "Greymane, Raynor, Tychus, E.T.C, Johanna, Auriel, Zarya, Xul, Malfurion, and Sonya?"

"Uh-huh!"

"How are you able to decipher all of those ridiculous nicknames?" Sylvanas said.

"Everyone in the Nexus gives one another degrading names. Remember the whole 'Popsicle' incident?"

"Ugh, yes, I remember. Honestly, Arthas acts like a man on the outside, but on the inside he's a filthy manchild, who has a temper almost as bad as Kael'thas!"

"I do not have a temper!" Kael'thas said angrily.

"Uh, yes, yes you do. Remember the 'Filthy Bird' incident?"

"Al'ar is a bird! Birds mate! I can't help if my pet went after some wild birds, and more than a few people...and their children...saw Al'ar doing unspeakable things to a pelican or two!"

"Kael'thas, when Chen brought it up, because poor little Li Li saw a pelican get it on with your precious Al'ar, and suggested you get Al'ar neutered, you set his hair on fire!"

"I'll never get that sight out of my brain. That poor, poor pelican." Li Li muttered.

"BECAUSE BIRDS ARE THE GREATEST CREATURES IN NATURE AND SHOULD NOT HAVE THEIR SPECIAL ORGANS REMOVED BECAUSE SOME OVERWEIGHT PANDA HIPPIE COMPLAINED THAT HIS NIECE SAW A BIRD GET-"

The room went silent as the word was said.

"HELLO?! CHILD IN THE ROOM!" Li Li yelled.

"I DON'T GIVE A LIVING DAMN!" Kael'thas screeched, and stomped off towards the direction of the rooms, stopping at a door painted red, opening it, going into the room, and slamming the door so hard it sounded like the bolts were about to come off.

"Well...that just happened…" Greymane muttered in his low, raspy voice.

Sylvanas made a tsk, tsk, tsk noise. "Like I said, temper."

"Guys...guys...I have a marvelous idea…" Li-Ming said.

"Oh no."

"I'm going to open his door…"

"No."

"Walk in front of him…"

"Li-Ming, I disapprove already…"

"And scream 'FILTHY BIRD'. It'll be great."

"Elune, i'm not religious, and I never have been, but if you're out there…" Sylvanas began.

Li-Ming was already walking off towards the door, her heels clicking against the concrete.

"So, in other news, friends…" Brightwing began. "What other friends do we need to find?"

Chromie thought for a moment. "Zagara, Azmodan, Uther, Abathur, Rehgar, Tassadar, Kharazim, Stitches, Rexxar, Muradin, Leoric, Dehaka, Chen, Arthas, Artanis, Anub'arak, Zeratul, Thrall, Samuro, Lunara, Falstad, and Alarak."

"That's. Alot. Of. People." Jaina said, her voice raising in alarm and surprise.

"Yeah, but if they're clumped in groups like this, it'll be a slice of metaphorical cake!" Chromie smiled.

"Okay, yeah, but what if some are hostile?" Nova replied.

"Then we'll battle, like old times!"

"Except there would be actual risks on the table, and it wouldn't just be some dumb stunt for fun and publicity."

"Yeah, but-"

"Yeah but nothing, shortstack. If i'm going to battle other Heroes, I want it to be on my own terms, after this mess is fixed, with no risk of anybody dying."

Chromie pouted. "Then what are we going to do if they are hostile?"

"They probably won't be. We know these guys, remember? But if they are, we'll figure it out diplomatically."

"Diplomatically doesn't always work."

"Yeah, except-"

Just then Li-Ming burst into the room, her hair alight, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Li-Ming!" Sonya yelled, before rushing over and patting the flames frantically with her hands, trying to stop the flames and prevent them from going any farther down the wizard's head.

"What even happened?!" Jaina yelled, summoning a spell that completely snuffed out the flame.

"So I went in…" Li-Ming huffed, trying to catch her breath and talk at the same time. "And he was brushing his ugly bird. Well, I mean, Al'ar is not ugly, not by a long shot, I just- you know what, forget about the birds appearance. He was so transfixed on brushing loose feathers off of the bird, that he didn't notice me come in. So I tapped him on the head, and he turns around, and he goes 'And what would you want?' so I go 'I just have one thing to say to you.' and he just kinda stares at me, I mean the man's expression was unreadable, and I go 'Filthy Bird.' and he just stares at me. And then he brings his hand up to my hair, and he sets his hand on fire, right then and there."

"This entire day has been moronic." Sylvanas decided, sitting down on the couch and turning on the T.V.

"What're you watching, love?" Tracer sat down next to Sylvanas, staring at her with girlish wonder.

"What do you think?"

"Ooh, lemme guess! The Walkin' Dead!"

"No, i'm going to watch Shaun of the Dead."

"You like comedies?"

"Just because i'm undead and naturally smell like a ratburger doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humor. So yes, I like comedies."


	21. Chapter 21

"Chromie! Death count!"

Chromie thought. "The people who are dead are Gul'dan, Illidan, Kerrigan, The Butcher, Valla, Tyrael, Gazlowe, Nazeebo, Medivh, and the Lost Vikings."

They were sending out a group to look for the other missing Heroes. Nova, Brightwing, Jaina, Chromie, and Auriel were packing essentials into a large pack that one would carry.

"Okay, so who's carrying the bag? We'll go on a '1-2-3 not it!'."

"1."

"2."

"3!"

"Not it!" Everyone except Jaina shouted.

"Not i- damn, I wasn't ready!"

Jaina slung the bag over her shoulder, and started walking up the cellar door.

"Have fun!" Li-Ming called.

"We'll have as much fun as we can looking for missing people." Jaina called back.

* * *

"The west marketplace has yielded no results, either." Said Chromie, looking at the map.

"So the only places left are the housing districts and the abandoned hospital?" Nova asked, looking at Chromie.

"Yeah. Which one first?"

"I'd say the housing district." Jaina said. "It makes sense, there's more shelter there."

"Friends, let's not be dumb-dumbs!" Brightwing yelled. "The hospital would be nice!"

"And why would that be?" Nova glanced at Brightwing.

"Because band-aids and lollipops are there!"

Auriel interrupted. "I agree." She said, in her cool, calm voice. "People who are hurt or have people who are injured with them would want to seek refuge in a hospital, with generally more medical supplies there. Also, lollipops are nice."

* * *

It was nearing midday when they reached the hospital. Vines had grown along its white walls, and many windows were smashed open.

"Nice looking place…" Nova muttered sarcastically.

Where the receptionist desk would've been, now sat a hunk of charred wood, obviously burned by something unnatural, as it looked like the site of a controlled fire.

Brightwing squealed in glee when she saw the remnants of what would've once held lollipops, and picked up a lollipop on the ground near it.

"Brightwing, are you sure that's safe to eat after 4-" Nova began, but was cut off by Brightwing spitting out the candy and recoiling in disgust.

"Where should we check first?"

"The children's wing." Jaina said. "What if there are some poor kids there that need our help?"

"Good idea, I don't particularly like the thought of kids stranded in the apocalypse."

The children's wing smelled of bandaids and apple juice, so not a particularly bad smell. The only light came from the windows, illuminating the blood red sky outside.

"Okay, so what do we do if we find any children?" Jaina said.

"We clean up any cuts they might have, ask them their name, ask them where their families are, and then help them find their parents." Nova told her.

"What if their parents are…"

"I dunno."

They walked to the end of the hallway, where a door was slightly ajar, and a fire was sitting in the center, controlled and heating up the cold hall.

"Okay, we just have to be quiet and maybe whoever's in there will be-"

"OWWW! GOD DAMN IT!" A southern accented woman screamed.

"Wait… Sgt. Hamm-"

"WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO LEAVE A BEAR TRAP IN THE DAMN CORNER NEAR MY STUFF?!"

"Sgt. Hammer, are you okay?" Nova asked, alarmed, stepping into the room.

"Nova?! What in the sweet name of Satan- Never mind, just get this thing off me!" She yelled, pointing at the bear trap on her leg.

Nova examined Hammer's leg.

"It's a good thing this has a release hatch."

"WHO CARES ABOUT THE DAMNED RELEASE HATCH?!"

"Okay, okay, calm down!" Nova shouted, and began working at getting the trap off the other woman's leg.

* * *

"There we go." Nova exclaimed, putting the bloody bear trap on a windowsill, where everyone could see it and avoid it.

"Good, now i'm getting out of here!" Hammer grinned, trying to pick herself up.

"Oh, Hammer! I wouldn't suggest standing up right n-"

"OH SWEET LORD!"

"Yeah, your leg's torn pretty bad. You need Lt. Morales with you right now."

"Or the literal angel behind you." Jaina suggested.

"I'll see what I can do." Auriel murmured, floating over to Hammer. She placed her hand on Sgt. Hammers damaged leg, and a glow came from it, nearly blinding everyone.

"Alrighty, now I can g- AAAHHHH!" She screamed, as she fell because she put weight on her damaged leg.

"I've stopped the bleeding, but the inside is still very torn. It's not reliable, but at the very least, you will not bleed out." Auriel's echoing voice bounced off the walls of the room.

"At least not externally." Sgt. Hammer growled from the floor. "Alrighty, Nova, Jaina, carry me back to you guys' HQ. I need to have a little chit-chat with your nearest surgeon."

* * *

"MORALES! WE NEED YOUR HELP!" Nova screamed.

"I'm sort of busy with someone else!" Morales called. Nova and Jaina dragged Sgt. Hammer down the stairs, with Auriel, Brightwing, and Chromie tailing before them.

"What could be so important?" Jaina asked.

"You really want to know?"

"Um, yeah…"

"Shortly after you guys left, Kael'thas said something about 'Mana addiction' and 'I haven't had any mana in the past few days' before collapsing."

Jaina facepalmed. "Nobody else here knew that he's a mana addict?"

"I knew." Sylvanas said, glaring at Morales. "I told her that he needs mana or else he has a serious risk of dying, but she refuses to believe mana addiction is a real thing."

"Because it's not."

"You've done scans and tests! You have proof!"

"I still can't fully cope that magic really does exist, more or less an addiction to a magic substance."

"You want more proof? The Wretched"

"What are The Wretched?"

"They're husks of who they once were, they have tremendously long claws, rotting teeth, black tears and saliva, snow white skin, they're hunchbacked, insane, and extremely violent. So unless you want poor Prince Kael turning into one of those monsters, i'd suggest giving him some mana, right now. Go on, he's awake now."

"I'm guessing that's linked to magic?"

"Obviously. After you're done, go help little Hammy-Wammy with whatever's wrong with her."

"Call me Hammy-Wammy again, and you- you'll…. Okay, this threat went nowhere."

Li-Ming scooted into the room. "What's happening?"

"I got a bear trap to the leg, and now I can't walk."

"Ouch."

"Did you see what happened to that Kael guy?"

"Ooh, yeah. It was bad. He was all light-headed and weird sounding. We were just eating lunch and he comes over, leans on the table like he's about to barf, and he goes, and I quote, 'Oh.. Oh yeah...D-did I ever m-mention that I have a mana addiction? I haven't had any ma-mana in a few days. I'm guessing that's not….' and then he passed out."

"Good to know."

"Why is he so addicted?"

"From those dumb little expositions he does durin' battle, it has somethin' to do with some pool o' ancient water, called the 'Sunnywell' or something, and Arthas wrecked the hell out of it, and they were getting a lot of mana from that thing, so…"

"Yeesh. With how smart he claims they all are, you'd've thought there would be a better option."

"Can we not speak of it?" Sylvanas said, turning from the corner.

"Right. You're so touchy-feely about it because you died during it, so…"

"You have that right, cowgirl."

"Oh, so just because my leg is torn to shit, you get to call me stuff like 'Hammy-Wammy' and cowgirl?"

"Uh, yeah." Sylvanas said, flicking at one of Hammer's braids.

"Stop that!"

"Make me, scramble-leg."

"All these nicknames, my god. It's like elementary school...and middle school…and high school all over again!"

"I'm guessing school was awful?"

"Uh, yeah. Other girls are MEAN!"

"You think I don't know that? You get the privilege of being a single child, I had to deal with 2 sisters. Sweet Sunwell, Alleria was the definition of 'terrible' when she hit puberty."

"You guys live pretty damn long, what age do you even hit puberty?"

"Well, in Quel'thalas, you're considered a legal adult by the time you're 200, but it's pretty random. I remember some boys voices changed when they were 60, which may sound old to you, but for an Elf, that's pretty damn young."

"Sweet Jesus."

"Sweet Elune, as well."

"I meant to ask, what's an 'Elune'?"

"The Moon goddess, for Elves. Many Elves across Azeroth believe she created everything, though basically everyone else believes some dumb pantheon of Titans made everything."

"I'm guessing talking about religions on Azeroth is like trying to slice someone with a sword with no hilt?"

"No, no wars have ever been started about religions."

"Lucky you. Where i'm from, religions are touchy as hell."

"I'm bored of talking. What do you want to watch?"

"Ooh, drag me over to the couch! There's a great show I need to show you, it's called _Unbreakable: Kimmy Schmidt._ It's about a girl named Kimmy who was trapped underground in a cult for most of her life, until one day she gets saved, and she's in the open world, and she moves to New York to…" Sgt. Hammers voice faded out as Sylvanas dragged her to the couch.

 **Consort: I didn't realize that. Whoops.**

 **Lucario: Are you sure you want me to reveal Brightwing's fate? I don't want you to freak out.**

 **And yeah, Brightwing's pretty much too friendly for her own good, but she does have heals and teleports on her side, so she's got that in her favor. She doesn't wear armor either, which I do find impractical, and leaves her exposed.**


	22. Chapter 22

" _You're an idiot, Sunstrider."_

Kael'thas looked up from the book he was reading.

" _And how so, Windrunner?"_

" _Well, for starters, you didn't tell anyone that you needed mana, but I guess you had other things on your mind, like not dying."_

" _And you just disproved your own point by saying I had more pressing matters to attend to."_

" _BUT you also know that without mana you could die, sooo…."_

" _Whatever."_ Kael'thas said, taking a sip from a styrofoam cup with mana in it.

" _Well, at least you're getting some mana now."_

" _How have things been going with the others?"_

" _Tyrande's been catching up with Malfurion, Jaina's been, well, Jaina, Brightwing's practicing flying, Lo's still tied to a chair, Li Li's been tossing healing brews at things, And Li-Ming's acting even more awkward towards Sonya than ever before."_

" _Poor Li-Ming. I don't personally care if Sonya turns her down or not, but-"_

Sylvanas slapped Kael'thas across the face.

" _Ow! What in the hells was that for, Sylvanas?!"_

" _You should never say that."_

" _Say what?!"_

" _Say that you don't care whether or not Sonya turns her down."_

" _Why would you care? You never really show any emotions at all. Why do you care about her?"_

" _We need everyone if we're going to assault the Raven Lord's castle."_

" _You're not suggesting that if she gets turned down, she'll...No, Sylvanas. That's ridiculous. Li-Ming is a girl who won't do that because some other girl turned her down. And besides, what is she, 19? That's too young to be in a relationship, in my opinion."_

" _That's because Elves age slower than humans, you know that. Just because we were the equivalent of 4-year-olds when we were 19 doesn't mean that she's too little to date."_

"Hey, what weird gibberish language are you guys speaking?" Li-Ming said, turning the corner.

"I hadn't realised we had been conversing in Thalassian this entire time…." Kael'thas said.

"Ohhhh! That's what your weird Elf language is called.

Sylvanas stared at Li-Ming. "Yeah...Weird Elf language."

"Can you guys tell me how to say curse words in that? I wanna say curse words around Li Li without her telling me she's gonna tell Chen I said that."

"Annyyywaaayyyssss…." Kael'thas said, the word long and strung out, trying to take the conversation off of Thalassian cusses.

"Anyways," Sylvanas picked up after Kael's sentence. "We're going on another expedition to find other Heroes. Kael'thas, Li-Ming, you guys want to come along?"

"Of course!" Li-Ming replied cheerily. "But, Kael, can you even stand?"

"Of course I can, woman. I'm an Elf, and Elves aren't weak!" He proudly announced. He tried to stand, but when he got on his feet, he fell over.

"Yeah, you're still really weak from lack of mana, huh? I guess Elves can be weak at times." Li-Ming chuckled, looking at Kael'thas on the floor.

"Shut up." He annoyedly said, his voice muffled by the floor.

"I'll go ask Diablo to carry you if you still want to come." Sylvanas sighed, facepalming.

* * *

"By carry, I didn't think you'd have thought that." Sylvanas said, chuckling at the sight. Diablo had Kael'thas slung over his large shoulder, and Kael was obviously not happy with it.

"GET ME OFF OF THIS DAMN MORON!" Kael'thas yelled.

"Oh come on, you know you love it, shortstack." Diablo said, mocking Kael'thas.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME SHORTSTACK?! WHAT THE FLYING FU-"

"KAEL'THAS! LET'S NOT SAY THAT IN THE PRESENCE OF A CHILD!" Sylvanas yelled, gesturing to Li Li.

"I am not short. For your info, I stand at almost 7 feet tall!" Kael'thas replied to Diablo.

"That's short to me."

"THAT'S SHORT TO YOU?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! JUST FORGET IT! LET'S GO ALREADY!"

"So, housing district, wrecked." Li-Ming said, glancing upon the destroyed houses.

"Not that one!" Diablo exclaimed, pointing a long, jagged finger at an untouched house.

"What house? Where?! GET ME OFF THIS MONSTER!" Kael'thas screamed.

"Kael, shut up. You're going to attract Lost Minions!" Li-Ming said.

"I think I can walk again now." He proudly announced. "So can I get off this guy now?!"

Sylvanas let out an annoyed sigh. "Yeah, sure, if you think you can walk. Diablo, let him down."

Diablo grabbed Kael'thas by the hand and flung him off, and Kael landed on his behind a couple yards away.

"Gently! We don't need anyone else with broken bones, we've already got the problem with Hammy Wammy's leg." Sylvanas glared at Diablo.

Kael'thas very slowly stood up. He could stand and walk, just unbearably slow.

"This is going to take all day." Sylvanas muttered in Thalassian.

* * *

The house smelled musty and was covered in dust, and in the dust there were footprints.

"Someone's definitely been here." Sylvanas remarked.

"But who?" Kael'thas replied.

"I don't know. Let's just hope whoever they are, they're friendly."

"Let's go up the stairs, maybe they're in a bedroom."

Sylvanas knocked on the first door she found.

"Hello? Anyone in here?" She asked.

"Asha'falah dure?" A woman's voice called from behind the door.

"Huh?" Li-Ming asked.

"I recognize that, and I'm sure Sylvanas does, too." Kael'thas said.

"What is it, then, mortal?" Diablo asked.

"It's Darnassian, the language of the Kaldorei. Since Lord Illidan is dead, and Malfurion and Tyrande are back at the base, then whoever is in there must be Lunara."

"Lunara, come out this instant!" Sylvanas yelled, like she was her mother, although Lunara must have been thousands of years older than Sylvanas.

"I repeat, Asha'falah dure." The woman repeated.

"I know how to do this. I studied Darnassian when I was a boy." Kael'thas smirked and walked up to the door.

He cleared his throat. "Dure medo dure, andinque." He said cooly.

"Part of that was Thalassian, but I'll let it slide." The woman behind the door said.

The door slid open, and there the First daughter of Cenarius stood.

"Thank Elune. We thought we were going to die alone."

"'We'?" Li-Ming asked.

"Me, Chen, Murky, and unfortunately…"

Arthas appeared behind Lunara. Sylvanas and Kael'thas groaned.

"Oh no, it's Arthas." Sylvanas muttered, her voice sour.

"Oh, chin up, hag." Arthas spat.

"I don't care whether or not we need everyone, i'm killing this son of a…." Sylvanas whispered, her hand on a shadow dagger.

"Let's not do that, even though I myself would love to kill that bastard one million times over. We need everyone, remember?" Kael'thas said to Sylvanas.

"At least Candle-ears agrees with me. Isn't that right, knife-ears?"

Kael'thas bared his teeth. "I hope you realize, you insolent child, that knife-ears is a racial insult to both Kaldorei and Sin'dorei respectively. As other Elves, even if one is only half, I'm sure Lunara and Sylvanas can support my claim."

"Of course I know it's a racial slur, you pointy-eared buffoon. Do you think i'm an idiot?"

"YES!" Kael'thas and Sylvanas screamed in unison.

Arthas had his hand on Frostmourne now.

"I would consider shutting it, lest I make an ear necklace today."

"Did you just say 'lest' correctly in a sentence? So you have more than 3 brain cells, apparently?" Kael'thas asked, laughing heartily.

"Uh, guys, we found what we needed to find. Let's leave, before someone loses an eye or an ear or something!" Li-Ming interrupted before things got too nasty.

* * *

"So how did things go?" Tracer asked bubbly.

"Great, until Arthas showed up." Sylvanas replied, her voice as sour as a lemon.

"I'm not the undead, sour, bitter, horrible, ugly, dishonorable brat in this situation." Arthas glared at Sylvanas.

"Well, at least she's not the woman-stealing, rude, impudent, repulsive cavity in the situation." Kael'thas smirked as he said it, giving Arthas a stare that could make a wolf back down from doing anything else.

"Well, as it seems, all Quel'dorei or Sin'dorei or Shit'dorei or whatever edgy name you're calling yourselves this year, are the exact same. Same mindset, horribly arrogant. same body type, too skinny to look healthy. Oh, and Kael'thas, at the very least I don't look like a woman, and I actually have body hair."

"Shit'dorei? Was the ruthless slaughter of millions of my people just a sick joke to you, Arthas? If you don't shut your overlarge mouth, so help me Elune, i'm backhanding you all the way back to-"

"SO IN OTHER NEWS, I FOUND A BOX OF SODAS, IF ANYONE WANTS TO JOIN ME IN DRINKING THEM!" Jaina screamed, emerging from the other room, desperate in taking the hostile conversation from going anywhere lethal.

"Depends, do you have any wine?" Kael'thas asked.

"I have cherry."

"Then I'm in!"

"Kael, you drink alcohol?" Li-Ming asked, dumbfounded.

"Of course I do! What self-respecting man doesn't?"

"An actual self-respecting man drinks ale and beer, not sissy wine." Arthas gave a nasty grin towards Kael'thas.

"Well, excuse me if I don't like to get hammered after 4 drinks!"

"Actually, doesn't wine have more of an alcoholic effect on the brain then ale?" Jaina asked.

"Uh..No…"

"Yeah, especially on you! I remember before this whole fiasco you'd get shitfaced after 3! It was hilarious!"

"Can I drink some, too?" Li-Ming asked them.

"It depends. Are you 21?"

"No."

"Then sorry, no adult grape juice for you."

"Let's go. The more we talk, the more I want wine." Kael'thas said, walking towards the kitchen.

"Haha, wait up!"

 **Skull: Nah...Probably...Okay, most definitely. And Sgt. Hammer said the 'Sunnywell' comment.**

 **Lucario: What will probably happen for her is the air route. The sky is always safer to smaller and more adorable things. Also, Auriel will probably have to use her resurrect on somebody, I'm just not sure who yet.**


	23. Chapter 23

"Okay, that's enough. Give me the bottle." Jaina said firmly.

"Y-you don't know meeee…." Kael'thas replied back, obviously drunk.

"I've known you since before the Third War. Now, give me the wine bottle."

"You can't make me."

"And why is that?"

"I don't work in this bar!"

"I know you don't work in this bar, because it's actually a kitchen. I thought you'd be fine after two drinks, but then you went full emotional white mom and just grabbed the bottle and chugged it!"

"Be-because I am the Prince of the Sin'dorei! I am ROYALTY! I can do whatever I want."

"No you can't. Give me the bottle."

"NEVER!" He screamed, before feebly attempting to run away, only to smack face-first into a wall.

"Here's the bottle." He whispered, passing it to Jaina.

"What in the hell happened over here?" Sgt. Hammer said, walking into the room with her leg in a cast.

"Jaina's being a.." He hiccuped. "She's bein' a bi-"

"Let me stop you right there, Kael. I am not being a...Female dog...At the moment. Go get some sleep. It's nearly 3 A.M."

"Whateeveeeerrrr…." He called back, stumbling to the direction of his room.

"So...What do you feel like doin'?"

"Is there anything to watch or play?"

"I have _Cinderella_ and _Inside Out._ "

"Fine, if that's all we have."

* * *

"ATTENTION! ALERT! ALERT!" Nova screamed.

Jaina jumped up. "What's wrong?!"

"We all have a meeting. Go get Kael'thas."

* * *

"What's the meaning of this meeting at 5 A.M?!" Kael'thas shouted, his drunkenness having passed.

"We think we finally have enough to assault the palace of the Raven Lord!" Chromie announced.

Nova looked around the room. "Is this enough people?"

"Of course it is! Plus, to help, I recruited some scattered mercenaries!"

Nova glanced at everyone there. Jaina, Kael'thas, Li-Ming, Brightwing, Tyrande, Malfurion, Lunara, Cho'Gall, Greymane, Raynor, Tychus, E.T.C, Johanna, Auriel, Zarya, Xul, Malfurion, Sonya, Chen, Li Li, Arthas, Sgt. Hammer, Murky, Tracer, and herself.

"And let's not forget…" Chromie began.

"THE WOMAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND HERSELF, LO!" The pigtailed girl burst through the door. She looked 17 now, her pigtails nearly reaching her ankles, and her green dress was replaced with green battle armor.

"Damn, Lo. You look intense." Nova commented.

"When do we set out?" Tyrande asked.

"Tomorrow, at-"

"HIIIGH NOOON?" Tracer interrupted.

The entire room just stared at her in confusion.

"I'm the only one who gets that? Seriously?!"

"Tomorrow at 12:00 P.M sharp."

"So it is at high noon?"

"Shut up, Tracer."

Nova pulled a map out from under the table. "Here's the plan," She said. "We melt the gate to get into the palace. Once we do so, we go room-to-room until we find which one Penelope's in."

"That's it?" Li-Ming asked impatiently.

"Whaddya mean by asking that?" Sgt. Hammer said. "The lady already explained it pretty damn well. STORM THE CASTLE!"

'We need to be more organized than that. We have no clue what the innards of this place look like, there could be guards around every corner, and we have a 24/7 chance of perma-death."

"There's the problem. We have no clue on what the inside looks like." Nova sighed.

"I do." Lo said.

The group looked at her.

"Somebody get me a piece of pencil and a paper!" She yelled. Nova grabbed the nearest pencil and some printer paper and handed it to Lo.

"Front yard is pretty self-explanatory. Backyard is the gardens. On the first floor is the kitchen, bathhouse, basement, and training room. On the second floor we have the lounge, art room, guest bedrooms, and a bathroom. Third floor is rooms for the higher ups. Fourth floor is Penelope's room, Penelope's bathroom, and the throne room." She explained, drawing the rooms with meticulous detail.

"How do you know all this?" Jaina asked.

"Mince practically dragged me there to have Penelope yell at me for messing something up. On the way to the throne room, you see a lot of different things."

"Any secret rooms?"

"Not that I know of, but I doubt there aren't any."

"Well then, now we have a map. We're ready. Everyone, go charge up. We have a lot of work to do." Nova announced.

"Charge up?" Chromie asked.

"Go sleep."

"But it's already 5 A.M!" Kael'thas interrupted.

"Then whoever's tired, go take a nap! For the people who actually slept and didn't waste their evening getting drunk or watching children's movies, go train, draw, eat, do whatever. We have a LONG day tomorrow. Live this day like it's your last, and for some of you it will be."

The group shambled out, some going to sleep for God knows how long, some to go do something else.

Brightwing floated up to Nova.

"Friend Nova, what should Brightwing do?"

Nova chuckled. "Whatever you feel like!"

"Friend Brightwing doesn't know what to do for her last day."

"Woah, Brightwing, you don't actually believe you're going to die, do you?"

Brightwing made a whimpering noise.

"Don't freak out, Wing. Even if you do die, which is a low chance, by the way, you'll come back once we fix it."

Brightwing landed on top of Nova's head.

"Are you- Never mind, she's already asleep."

Nova stood for a second, trying to balance the sleeping dragon on her head.

"Uh, guys? Little help? I sorta have a sleeping fae thingy on my head!"

"JUST DEAL WITH IT! SHE'S DONE THAT TO ALL OF US AT LEAST ONCE!" Li-Ming yelled.

"Well, I guess this is how I'm spending the rest of my day." Nova sighed.

 **Consort: It is kinda awkward. And uncomfortable. I wonder where they keep finding chairs and rope….**

" **Hi, welcome to the Emerald Dream. Here's your free weedkiller. They never stop growing. Ever."**

 **The Heroes who haven't been found yet will turn up after this thing is fixed. So yeah, Dehaka will turn up, just not in the main course of action.**


	24. Chapter 24

"GAAH! FRIEND NOVA! BRIGHTWING HAD THE WORST DREAM!" Brightwing woke up, screaming on the top of Nova's head.

"Woah, calm down!" Nova pulled Brightwing off of her head. "What happened in it?"

"There were people in scary masks and they were lobotomizing poor pumpkins!"

"Brightwing, that's called Hallow's Eve."

"Except they had all this chunky stuff in their heads!"

"That's called pumpkin guts."

"THEIR STOMACHS ARE IN THEIR HEADS?!"

"No it's just a- you know what? I'm not even going to bother explaining. You just had a bad dream...A bad dream about a completely normal holiday that we celebrate every year…"

"But it was scaaary!"

"I know it was, I've had nightmares, you've had nightmares, hell, I'd bet the Raven Lord has had nightmares before!"

"That makes Brightwing feel slightly better…"

"Well, you know what'll make you feel even better?"

"What?"

"A long day of hard work preparing for the battle tomorrow!"

"But Brightwing wants to spend today watching Sesame Street!"

"If you help, i'll give you some candy!"

"OKAY!"

* * *

"Jaina! Mission time!" Nova shouted.

"What? Why?"

"Remember the car?"

"That dumb metal monstrosity? Yeah. Why?"

"We need to open a portal up to where we left it last."

"Why?"

"So we can carry the larger non-humanoids in it."

"But the only over-large things we have are Cho'Gall, Diablo, and... That's it."

"Don't you EVER," She drew closer to Jaina. "EVER DOUBT MY LOGIC!"

"OKAY! Jeez, calm down! I'll open the portal. Do you want me to tag along?"

"Sure, more manpower."

Jaina weaved the spell, and soon the portal opened to their old base. They stepped through, before Nova gasped and dragged the other two into a bush. The two were clearly confused, before Nova pointed at something surrounding the car. A group of Lost Minions were surrounding it, and were attempting to pull it apart for scrap.

"What's the plan?" Nova asked.

"We wing it!"

"No, don-"

"Wiiiinngggg iiit…." Jaina whispered.

"Fine, we'll wing it. CHAAAARGEEE!"

The crowd turned their heads, before scrambling to find their weapons.

Nova shot one through the head, the other through the chest. Jaina summoned a ring of frost, severely injuring 5 of them, before summoning a water elemental to finish the job. The elemental smacked the poor things, killing them instantly. Brightwing bit the arm of one, making them scream and drop their sword. She grabbed the helmeted head of them, and twisted it so fast that their neck broke. They dropped to the ground and dissolved.

"Good work, guys. I guess winging it helps sometimes." Nova said.

* * *

"Okay, Jaina. Help me push this thing through the portal."

Jaina and Nova tried, and failed, to push the car through.

"You see, this is why Azeroth is better," She began. "We don't have giant metal monsters to worry about. Horses and carraiges are much more practical."

"Oh, did Azeroth figure out a vaccination for the flu yet?"

"...No, but-"

"EXACTLY!"

* * *

After a while, they managed to get it through, but mainly because Jaina and Nova gave up and Jaina forced a water elemental to do it.

"Okay, so what I'm thinking is rails attached to it and a super beefed up engine and-"

"Nova, slow your roll, girl." Sgt. Hammer said, looking down at the blueprints. "Where are we gonna find half o' this crap anyways?"

"I was thinking of another mission, to the Mines."

"Oh boy, oh boy. Another mission. Just what my back needs." Jaina muttered.

"Well, you're coming anyways! Besides, all these spells might be great practice! Now, open us up another portal."

"I hate you sooo much…" Jaina grumbled, as she begrudgingly opened yet another portal.

The two stepped in, and the portal closed, leaving Sgt. Hammer all alone.

"Well, now I guess I can have a quiet afternoon for once. You know what? I deserve it. I deserve a quiet afterno-"

"HEYA, SGT!" Li-Ming screamed.

"Goddamn it."

"Do you wanna hang out?"

"And do what?"

"I don't know. Hey, how messed up is your leg still?"

"Very messed up."

"Aww, poor thing. Do you need me to carry you?" Li-Ming mocked.

"I can walk just fine, kid."

"Why are you calling me kid? You're, like, only a few years older than me."

"Because that's a kid in my book."

"Hey, who am I? 'SOMEBODY PUT MAH HORSERADISH IN MAH DAMN BOOTS!'" Li-Ming imitated Sgt. Hammer with a grin on her face.

"This is too much stupid for one woman to handle. I'm going to go find the other Heroes."

"Oh trust me, Sargy, you won't have much better luck finding any less stupid there!"

* * *

"What do you mean alcoholic beverages are good for injuries?!" Lt. Morales yelled at Li Li.

"What I mean is that I just give them the brew, and the bleeding just stops!"

"Oh, yeah. What a scientific breakthrough. I guess I should just switch from modern medicine to pouring beer into an exploded appendix!"

"You're really going to?"

"No!"

"What is even happenin' here?" Sgt. Hammer asked.

"Li Li just told me the most preposterous thing! She gives people beer during a battle and it just fixes them up!"

"Haven't you seen her in battle before?"

"Yes, but I just always thought she was giving out some sort of a medicine!"

"Beer has healing properties! It's scientifically proven!" li Li pouted.

"By who?"

"By me!"

"You really want to know what alcohol actually does to you?"

"What?"

"Kills brain cells, damages the liver, rots the teeth, and so much more!"

"I'm so done here. Whoever says anything next is getting a bottle to the face!"

"Well, I'm leaving before things get ugly!" Sgt. Hammer announced. As she left, she heard a bottle break and Lt. Morales screaming. Whether in anger, fear, or pain, she couldn't tell.

* * *

"What do you think you're saying, woman?!" Kael'thas shouted.

"I'm saying that fire magic is the worst, and necromancy is the best!" Sylvanas replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you spend a large portion of your early adulthood in Dalaran studying the fine art of magicks? I didn't think so! You were off shooting Trolls and drooling over that filthy human, Nathanos Blightcaller, or whatever his name was!"

"Oh, you mean just like how you were obsessing over Jaina back then?"

"What's happening over here?" Sgt. Hammer sighed.

"Sylvanas just said the most ridiculous thing! Fire magic is less potent than necromantic magic!"

"Well, I can't exactly give an opinion on this one. I didn't even know magic was a real thing until I came to this crazy-ass place."

"Well then, what use to us are you? Go watch some Ragonzall V or whatever it's called."

"You..You mean Dragonball Z?"

"I DON'T CARE!"

"Okay, jeez! I'll leave."

* * *

"Okay, Nova. We've got the rails and the water elementals. I'm read to open up the portal when you are."

"Do it!"

The portal opened, and the two elementals pulled the rails through.

"Whoo! Way to go, Stacy and Brian!"

"You gave your crazy water tornados names?"

"They're like pets. Oh, don't give me that look! So Kael'thas is allowed to keep a bird that shoots fire and glows, but as soon as I name a water elemental I'm weird?"

"Yes. Now come, m'lady. We've a lot of work to be done."

"Okay, weirdo…"

* * *

"It's finished!" Sgt. Hammer yelled, wiping her forehead and leaving a trail of soot on her forehead.

The car was now 3 times taller and wider, and had 2 rails attached by chains to it.

"Now we have something to carry injured people in!" Nova cheerfully said.

We're seriously going to be driving that thing in a castle?" Jaina asked.

"Yup! And it all starts tomorrow. We're going to lose a lot of people, probably, but at least things will go back to normal. Well, as normal as you can get for the Nexus."

* * *

 **Lucario: You really care about BW, don't you? She is a very adorable character.**

 **Teleporting out of danger seems like a viable option. I might use it.**

 **Maybe Zarya has, but it's more of a conceded joke in the Nexus.**

 **Consort: Worry not, Morales is still alive and not dead!**

 **I'm going to try and use every character possible, so ultimates are a must, and that includes Malf's little Tranquility.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Authors notes: Character death time! Time to bump up the age rating!**

"We're all ready, everyone?" Chromie said. The room was uncomfortably silent, as everyone knew where they were going.

"Yeah, I think we all are. Jaina, if you would?" Nova said. Jaina opened the portal, the other side a grey slab of grassland, with a greyish-reddish mud colored sky, covered in clouds, pouring rain. There was no doubt in anybody's mind that this was the land where the castle was.

"Well, time ain't gonna wait for us, folks!" Sgt. Hammer yelled as she drove the new, improved, Medi-car through the portal. "Get a move on it!"

"Please remind me why we gave an injured crazy woman all of my medical supplies." Morales muttered to Nova.

"We also gave her grenades…"

"Nice…"

* * *

"Well, there it is, guys." Nova announced. In the distance, through the rain, was a castle on a hill. The rooftops turned into spirals as they reached the top, looking like they were about to pierce the bleak sky.

The walk was long, but when they reached the black gates, it was worth it.

"Diablo, if you would?" Sylvanas gestured to the gate.

"With pleasure."

Diablo let forth fire from his mouth, not unlike a dragon, and soon the precious metal of the gate was nothing more than a piping hot glob on the ground.

"Careful everyone! Don't step in or on it!" Nova said.

There was a cobblestone path leading to a large set of wooden doors, which had been carved and cut to the point that it looked like a battle had happened there.

"Hey!" Shouted one of the guards around the door. They unsheathed their swords and charged, just before Nova shot them right between the eyes. The other guard screamed and attempted to run, but they tripped, landed on their head, and broke their neck.

"Good God, woman." Sgt. Hammer called from her car. "Maybe show 'em a little mercy?"

"Sorry, just-"

"DID SOMEBODY SAY 'MERCY'?" Tracer yelled, giggling. The entire group groaned.

"Let's just go in. Tracer, if you say another word, I'm shooting you in the ass."

The interior of the palace was elegant. Black and white marble checkerboard floors, deep purple iron walls, and a large staircase leading up to an entirely new set of rooms.

"Map." Nova muttered to Lo. Lo handed her the crumpled printer paper.

"We check the kitchen first. She might be eating. Then the training room, and then, unfortunately, the bath house and basement."

"The kitchen is right that way." Lo said, pointing to an arched opening near the staircase.

* * *

"Penelope, come out this insta- AAAH!" Li-Ming shrieked as a butcher knife missed her face by an inch.

A small woman, only about 5'2 and in a blood-stained chef's uniform, came into view, wielding a butcher's knife and screaming wildly. She attempted to strike Jaina, but Jaina dodged and made the girl stumble and nearly fall on her own knife.

"APPRENTICES! HELP ME!" She screamed.

5 children ran out of the kitchen, 3 girls 2 boys. They were not using knives but full on meat cleavers, and were whooping wildly.

"WHAT CRAZY CRACK-FUELED COOKING CLASS IS THIS?!" Sgt. Hammer screeched.

Nova triple-tapped the original in the head, and she fell to the floor. Her apprentices swiftly turned their heads, before Sonya leaped high in the air and landed with a THUD! Making a crater around them and stunning them. Sonya slashed back and forth, blood falling like rose petals to the ground. Li-Ming sighed happily, and started to fall over. Tyrande caught her by the shoulders, and stood her back up.

* * *

"Ok, the other rooms are clear." Nova said.

They headed up the staircase, and had just reached the top.

"There's actually a secret passage to get to where we need to be faster." Lo said, gesturing for the party to follow her. She pulled on a purple book on a bookshelf. At first, nothing happened, but then the bookshelf rumbled and shook. It revealed not one, but two passages.

"We'll need to split up." Nova remarked.

"No shit, Sherlock." Sgt. Hammer muttered.

"Jaina, Kael'thas, Sylvanas, Li-Ming, Sonya, Chen, Murky, Diablo, Cho'Gall, Zarya, Xul, Auriel, Morales and Lo take the left passage. Me, Chromie, Brightwing, Tyrande, Malfurion, Li Li, Lunara, Greymane, Raynor, E.T.C, Johanna, and Arthas will take the right one. If one finds the throne room first, we wait for the other group." Nova announced. And with that, the party split up.

* * *

"Listen guys, do you hear that, too?" Chromie asked. There was a slight hissing noise in the distance.

Tracer's face fell.

"Tracer? What's wrong?" Nova asked.

"Get down."

"What?"

"I SAID GET DOWN!" Tracer yelled. She shoved Nova just in time, as one part of the wall exploded.

"Tracer? Are you okay?"

Tracer was buried under possibly hundreds of pounds of bricks and cement, clearly not moving.

"Is she-" Li Li asked.

"Yeah."

Tracer dissolved into blue dust, leaving nothing more than a pile of bricks where she used to be.

"She knew it was a bomb. I don't think she knew it would explode right then."

"Well, we have our first death." Johanna said.

"Just all the more reason to fix this." Chromie muttered.

* * *

 **Consort: Yes, Ultimates are an absolute MUST. especially healer ults.**

 **Skully: 10,000 cups of F*ck You's. I think that's my new favorite sentence**.


	26. Chapter 26

"I can't see a thing!" Li-Ming complained.

"Oh, you poor thing. Kael'thas, get us some magic light, would you?" Sylvanas replied.

Kael'thas made a noise as he tried to cast a spell. "I...can't do it right now. I think I need some mana."

"Don't worry, small man-child. I shall make us a light!" Diablo thrust his hand forward, the clawed palm erupting in a tiny fire, and a smirk tugged across his ugly, spiky face.

" _S-Small man-child?!_ How dare you! I did not go through years of ruthless schooling in Silvermoon and Dalaran, working my way up to the top in my spells, to be treated like a _brat_ by some hideous demon with a spike problem!" Kael shouted.

"You know, Kael, you have a spike problem as well. Just a different kind of spike, if you catch my drift." Jaina said, folding her arms and giving everybody a _you-know-what-I-mean_ look.

"Jaina! And to think I expected more from somebody else of royal and noble lineage! How dare you, making dr-dr-" He paused to cough. "Drug references! Besides, it's only one addiction problem, and every other Elf that was connected to the Sunwell on Azeroth has the affliction, too! You might as well be saying that to every Elf on the face of _Azeroth_!" His voice broke on the last word, making his voice go up to the point where his eyes watered because of how much his vocal cords stretched.

"Jeez, Kael. You okay?" Li-Ming asked, worry in her voice.

"O-Of course I am! I just need a little bit of mana, that's all. Hand me a spare bottle."

* * *

"Okay, guys. We need to be careful. Two of some of our best fighters are down. Diablo because he's making light for us, and Kael because he's recovering mana at the moment." Lo announced.

"Like we couldn't see that already, Captain Dipshit." Someone said.

"What? WHO SAID THAT?!" She yelled as everybody burst into laughter.

" _Lo?_ Is that you?" Somebody called from the passageway.

"Shit! Guys, hide behind those crates!" She snapped.

A tall woman with light pink hair appeared. Her hair was in thick curls, and she was wearing a set of soft blue armor.

"Lo! Mince has been going half-crazy looking for you, girl! Where have you been?" She asked, an inquisitive look on her face.

"I saw some Heroes entering the castle, so I decided to leave…"

"Without getting Lord Mince? That's risky, you could be killed for that. Love the new looks, by the way."

"Heh...Thanks…."

"You won't believe how crazy Mince has been going. He's _very_ worried about you, searching halfway across the Nexus for you."

"R-Really? I…"

"Hahahhah, _sike!_ That guy just got another Minion made for him. He's acting like it's his new son. I think he's completely forgot about you."

Sonya made a slight growling noise in her throat, upset at what she had just heard. Every other Hero made a ' _Be quiet!'_ motion. But it was too late.

"Mina, wait! Don't look behind the-" Lo began.

Diablo gripped the woman by her face and hoisted her up. She flailed for a bit, before Diablo squeezed her head. She screamed in pain.

"Oh my gods, Diablo! _Stop!_ You're going to make her head burst!" Kael yelled, his hand on his mouth.

She eventually went limp, and just hung in his hand. Diablo placed her on the ground, where a little bit of blood spilled out of her ear. She dissolved into dust, leaving nothing on the ground but a little bit of blood.

"That was just ruthless, Diablo!" Li-Ming said, giving Diablo a friendly punch on the arm.

"Don't touch me, Nephalem."

"Sorry."

* * *

"Guys? I can see a light." Jaina observed.

The group entered a dimly lit room with a single table in the center, with a balcony up above.

"Where…" Sylvanas began.

"Ah, good! The main entertainment is here!" A woman yelled. On the balcony there was a woman with long blonde hair, and she was wearing a beautiful red dancing gown, and on her face was an almost ridiculous amount of make-up.

"What's going on?" Lo asked.

"Ah, Lo dear! How nice it is to see you...And I see that you brought the whole traitorous gang! By the way, I _hate_ the armor. Switch into something more feminine!"

"Ah, screw off with the gender-roles, Naisha! Where's Penelope at?"

"Oh, my dearie, must you be so man-like and barbaric? Although I must say the armor brings out your eyes, quite a nice touch there! And on the subject of Penelope, our lovely ruler is somewhere where I'm not telling you. I'm not a _rat_ like you." Her eyes and demeanor darkened with the last sentence.

"Oh, Naisha. Still sticking with the prim and proper attitude?"

"SHUT UP!" She screamed. She pulled out a long shotgun out from the corner of the balcony and shot at Lo.

Lo flipped and screamed as a bullet grazed her ear.

The team shot spells and bullets at Naisha, attempting to kill her. Naisha leapt up into the air, and aimed at Auriel. Auriel flew out of the way just in time, as the bullet nearly struck her arm.

Auriel flew to the top of the balcony and grabbed Naisha by the arm, before flying over the balcony, with Naisha kicking in mid-air.

"L-Let me down! You heathen! _Love_ the ribbons, thou- _AAAAHHHH!"_ Naisha nearly let a compliment out as Auriel dropped her. She landed on her head, her neck twisting in a fatal direction. She dissolved into dust, leaving the room quiet as everyone stared at Auriel in horror.

"What? Just because I heal does not mean I cannot defend myself. Do not mess with an angry Angel." She said, crossing her arms.

"Impressive. Maybe I underestimate Angels." Diablo murmured.

"Okay, but where's the exit? I, for one, am not sitting in some dark room forever." Kael'thas snapped.

"Uh...Maybe something in the fruit bowl?" Lo said, pointing to the table.

Diablo scrambled over to it, and tipped it over, all the fruit spilling out.

"Well, great. Now you've ruined i- Wait! That apple doesn't look real!" Jaina said.

Kael picked up the apple, and tapped it with his nails. It made a plastic noise.

"Indeed, it's fake. And it has some kind of code scribbled on it."

"Hand it here." Lo said.

She cleared her throat.

" _Door oh door, open to me forevermore."_

A part of the wall slid open, revealing a tiny exit.

"Well, whaddaya know. C'mon, guys. The Nexus isn't going to fix itself." Jaina gestured to the door.

* * *

 **Lucario: Yeah, I'm not good at writing deaths.**

 **Maybe you saved BW, maybe you didn't. Only time will tell.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Authors notes: See how many pop-culture references you can spot in this chapter! And also, Consort, your OC makes an appearance in this one.**

* * *

"RUN! OH MY GOD, _RUN!"_

The creature came bounding after them, their owner laughing sadistically.

"C'mon, Succotash, where are they?!" The woman screamed.

The creature, named Succotash, snuffled before pawing at its face. It could literally smell where they were.

"One...named...Chro...mie...that...way." It struggled to say. It pointed its misshapen paw towards a stone pillar.

"Oh, sandnuggets…" Chromie whispered, and wiped her forehead.

"Forward, Succotash!" The brute woman howled. The creature knocked the pillar down and pounced on Chromie, its yellow teeth snarling in her face.

"I didn't want to have to do this, in fact I'm banned from using it on battlegrounds. But since you and your pet insist…" Chromie said, a smile tugging on her tiny face.

There was a blinding flash of light, before a large ringing sound nearly deafened everyone in the room, and shortly after horribly low growls pierced the air. A ginormous bronze-colored dragon was towering over the woman and her pet, making both them and Chromie's hidden teammates shake in their boots. Chromie lunged her clawed dragon hand downward, shoving the woman and her pet into a wall, breaking a few of their bones.

"Ah, damn it, my ribs…" The woman croaked.

"One question before I inevitably crush you." Chromie said, lurching forward, her voice deep and creaky, as she rarely spoke in dragon form. "What's your name?"

"Oh, thanks for askin'! It's Ichigo!" She said, all 13 of her rotting, disgusting teeth showing.

"Oh, how pleasant…" Chromie muttered, fighting the urge to vomit. She shoved Ichigo and Succotash into the wall a bit more, and soon blue dust was flying out from under her hand.

* * *

"Okay, guys. Any way out of this room?" Nova asked, leaning on her gun.

"Brightwing sees a window!" Brightwing exclaimed. She pointed a tiny finger at a giant hole in the wall, literally anything BUT a window.

"Oh wow. Sorta stupid how we didn't see that." Nova said, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Brightwing thinks we should ride on Chromie!" Brightwing cheerfully said.

"Uh, I don't think that's going to be a good i- Oh my gods, they're doing it anyways." Chromie sighed.

Once the whole group was on, Nova leaned into Chromie's ear and yelled "Giddy up, little dragon!"

"First of all, I'm really ticked off that Sgt. Hammer's still in her medical jeep while on me. That's just not safe. Second of all, there's no saddle. Anyone with nothing covering their legs are going to have a nasty surprise when they get off. Third of all, screaming 'Giddy up, little dragon!' is really not inspiring me. Leave inspiration to Raynor. Fourth of all-"

"ONWARDS, AOSHIMA!" Sgt. Hammer yelled from her slanted jeep.

"Alright, ready or not, which I'm not, here we go!" Chromie growled. She took flight, leaving the others going "Woah!" and scrambling to grab a scale to find some stability. She drifted effortlessly through the hole in the wall, the cold night air rushing on their faces.

"Look! There's a hatch at the top of that roof!" Nova yelled, trying to scream over the wind.

Chromie landed with a loud THUD! And the group dismounted.

Chromie shifted out of her dragon form. She silently opened the hatch and climbed down a ladder, motioning for the group to follow suit.

They looked around the room, a white lab with half-finished gizmos on every table.

"Friend Gazlowe would love this room!" Brightwing said.

A door behind them slammed open.

"Ah, good, the kids have come to play!" A high-voiced man in an oil-stained, oversized lab coat said. He was short and thin, with black hair that instead of growing down, grew outwards, sort of defying gravity.

"Kids? How dare you, I am thousands of years old!" Chromie scoffed, obviously peeved by the comment.

"Whatever! Just prepare to meet your maker!" He yelled. He pulled out a mini rocket launcher…

...and shot a missile directly at the group.

* * *

 **Lucario: He won't be in combat himself, but it will be in a combat situation.**

 **You did influence a few things. Not a lot, but a few.**


	28. Chapter 28

The room was a polished white, with beautifully upholstered couches and a warm fire in the center. The air smelt of lavender, and looked almost innocent.

"Why is there, like, a perfect room here?" Morales asked, rubbing her armored index finger over the stitches on a couch.

"It may be a trap…" Kael'thas muttered, his fists curled just in-case.

Sylvanas clapped her hand on Kael'thas' shoulder.

"Hey, I don't even show any emotion, and even _I_ think you should lighten up. Look at this place!" She said, her face stoic as usual but her voice almost normal, save for the echo.

"It's not very easy to 'Lighten up' when the imminent chance of somebody _dying_ is always around the corner." He muttered, his lower lip curling in some unreadable negative emotion.

"Everyone, look at what I found!" Jaina yelled.

Everyone walked up, and saw what she had. It was a golden egg, clearly real.

Kael squinted his eyes. "That looks like- _By the Sunwell!"_

"What is it?" Li-Ming asked.

"It's a phoenix egg! But the only phoenixes in the Nexus are the ones I keep."

Suddenly, the portal usually summoned by Kael'thas to summon Al'ar opened, and the fire-winged bird flew through, landing on the egg and hissing at Jaina.

"Al'ar?! What's wrong, my pet?" Kael'thas said, placing a hand on the phoenix's head, an expression of worry written into his face. Al'ar bit his owner on the hand, before hissing viciously. He picked the egg up with his legs and struggled to fly away.

"Gah! What the- He never does that! What has gotten into you?!" He yelled, clasping his bleeding hand.

Al'ar landed neatly on the ground, the egg literally under his wing. He hissed and snarled at anyone that got close.

"Oh, what a shame. The adult got to the egg before I could make it into an omelette." A snide-sounding man said, emerging from a dark corner. He was wearing a green fisher hat, with a blue vest and a green t-shirt on. On his hand there was a glove, specifically used for letting birds onto your arm.

"And just who would you be?" Kael snapped, his hand on his hip.

"I'm the Birdkeeper. Keeper of the birds. And you, m'lady?"

"M-m'lady?! How dare you! I am a man! Trust me, I _checked_ this morning."

"Oh, my apologies. I just thought you were a woman in her 40's, what with the hair and the feminine body type and the feminine pose. Besides, you did not answer my question. Who are you?"

He cleared his throat. "I am Prince Kael'thas Sunstrider, last of the Sunstrider royal line, and heir to the throne of Quel'thalas!"

"Wowza. That's way more interesting that 'The Birdkeeper'. Anyways, it was fun to chit-chat, but I sort of have to kill you, sooo…"

"Wait, wha-" Kael'thas barely managed to get out before the man ran up to him and punched him square in the nose. Kael fell and landed on his back, a stream of crimson blood coming from both nostrils. The man ran to Al'ar and the egg, and kicked the egg as hard as he could. It shattered into pieces, and the still-developing bird slid on the floor in a yellow, disgusting mess. Al'ar shrieked, before the Birdkeeper slammed his beak shut using only one hand. The other hand went to the bird's neck, attempting to strangle him. Sylvanas wasted no time drawing her bow out and attempting to shoot the man in the neck. The man sidestepped, and let go of Al'ar's neck for a short time to run up to Sylvanas and elbow her in her stomach. She dropped to the ground, clutching her stomach, before the man kicked her in the ribs. Li-Ming sprinted up to the Birdkeeper, thrusting her staff onto the man's foot. The man did not let go of Al'ar, however, and with his free hand, grabbed Li-Ming's staff and smacked her in the face with it. She went flying backwards, her ponytail messed up and frizzy.

"I don't think we can beat him!" Li-Ming yelled, clutching her damaged mouth.

"Of course we can!" Lo called back, drawing her sword. She let forth a battle-cry and went for his windpipe.

"Lo?!" He yelped, and attempted to sidestep away. He was too slow for Lo, though, and was stabbed in the arm not holding Al'ar.

He screamed in agony. "I didn't want to have to do this! I really didn't!" He yelped, fighting back tears. He, as fast as his weakened legs would carry him, got within a 10-foot radius of Kael'thas. He threw Al'ar at him, and Kael'thas just barely caught him. The Birdkeeper took something box-shaped and glowing out of his pocket. He threw it on the ground near Kael'thas, and immediately a force-field surrounded Kael and Al'ar, trapping them. Kael'thas looked around in terror, clutching Al'ar close to his chest.

"Hahaha! One for the Birdkeeper, zero for the He- Grrk…" He muttured the last part as Lo impaled him with her sword, and he collapsed.

Inside the forcefield, Kael'thas whimpered in pain, and clutched his stomach. Al'ar curled up next to his owner, and rubbed his face on Kael's leg, clearly knowing something was wrong.

Sylvanas picked the Birkeeper up by his shirt. "What is that thing doing to him?"

The Birdkeeper coughed up a bit of blood, the wound in his stomach bleeding profusely. "It'll drain all the mana in him, slowly and painfully. It's mainly only used for disabling magical enemies, but once I heard that people were breaking into the castle, and that someone was _mana-addicted_ , I couldn't help myself." He grinned, showing off his blood-stained teeth.

Sylvanas dropped him in disgust, before running to the forcefield and trying to break it with an arrow. The arrow simply shattered in response. Inside the forcefield, Kael'thas let out a pained groan.

"He has...about...fourty...minutes…" The Birdkeeper muttered, before letting out an obvious final breath and dissolving.

* * *

 **Skully: Haha, yeah. Chromie's a character I definitely enjoyed writing. She'll have a bigger role now.**

 **Consort: I actually thought the dragon transformation scene was a bit lackluster. You liked it?**

 **Don't worry! I really enjoy your OC, so nothing too awful will happen to him, at least compared to the way some other characters will go.**


	29. Chapter 29

Nova and the rest of the team wasted no time dodging the explosives, but Chromie got a blast square in the arm. She stumbled backwards, clutching the small wound. When she released her hand, it revealed a small but painful looking second degree burn.

"Ow! What the heck did we do?!"

"You are attempting to assassinate Lady Penelope!" The man barked back.

Nova shot him a confused look. "When did we say we were going to do that?"

"Well I- She- She told me that- ENOUGH! I SEE WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT, YOU GREMLIN!

He pulled out a rocket launcher from seemingly nowhere, pointing the intimidatingly large weapon at Chromie.

"Woah, buddy, take, like, ten chill pills. We've only just begun fighting!"

"Yeah, why waste your ultimate on two defenseless women?" Chromie asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"You two are not...are not…." He zoned out for a second.

Nova snapped her fingers, sending the man back into reality.

"You two are not defenseless! Tall blondie, I see a rifle! And short blondie, you're a dragon! I saw you fly onto the roof through the windows!"

"Listen, dude. Your Goddess? Penelebitch? She's crazy." Nova said, placing her hands on her rifle just-in-case.

"PeneleBITCH?! H-how dare- ARRRGH! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" He yelled, pulling up the weapon once more.

He inhaled sharply. "PYRO CAAARNIVAAALLL!" He screamed, aiming it straight for Nova's head. He pulled the trigger.

Time seemed to slow. Nova saw her life flash before her- Her upper-class family, the Ghost Academy, that whole Zerg thing…

There was a bright flash and a deafening ringing noise, and Nova instinctively shut her eyes tight. When she opened them, there was a huge bronze dragon in front of her, pawing at it's face.

"Chromie! Oh my God, are you okay?"

She shifted back to her humanoid form, and fell to the ground, hands still on her face. She removed them, only for a second, revealing horrifying 3rd degree burns all over her face. She shuddered for a moment, and stopped moving, dissolving into dust.

Nova dropped her rifle. Everyone seemed to freeze, even the man who had shot Chromie. Nova felt a redness come to her face. Her fists shook. She snatched up the rifle from off the ground, and pointed it directly at the man's head. He rolled out of the way just in time for a bullet to graze his ear. Nova stepped forward, another bullet loaded, before Brightwing stepped in front of her, blocking her way.

"Friend Nova, please stop. You're scaring Brightwing with your angryness."

Nova nearly saw red, but calmed down when Brightwing intervened. There was no point in killing somebody for revenge. If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stayed the same.

She picked the man up by his collar.

"Tell us EVERYTHING you know."

"F-fine! Just don't hurt me!"

"Start with the basics."

"The basics? Okay. Penelope became ruler shortly after the assault on the last respawn point. The LM's had no leader, and were confused as to what to do next. Lady Penelope, feeling pity for us, took all of us under her wing, and attempted to fix our society. Everything was fine at first, until I heard she started to read a weird book. Soon, the sky turned red, the grass lost its green, demons popped up everywhere, animals got sick beyond control, and we started to take over peaceful noble and civilian settlements. Soon, she ordered the assassination of the Raven Lord. We nearly found him, but the sneaky a-hole got away. Soon after, she started making us with...specific purposes. If she wanted a mechanic, she told some sort of magical statue she wanted a mechanic, and pop, out comes one. If we deviate from our purposes, we die. A caste system, if you will. Nowadays, she's more bent on doing something in the now closed-off throne room. She somehow still looks picturesque, though. Poor Sephiro- I mean, poor Mince. Someone needs to tell that guy he has a zero percent chance with her."

Nova dropped him.

"We learned what we could. Let's go, everyone."

"But friend Nova! Shouldn't we bring him? He seems important! Brightwing thinks we should do so!"

"Fine. But only if he proves himself helpful. Since you used your ultimate, do you have any spare weapons?"

"I have a few rocket launchers…" He muttered, fishing around in his pockets for something useful.

* * *

The group was walking out of a spare hatch in the wall, the atmosphere weighing a ton among them.

Brightwing flew up to the man and attempted to make small-talk.

"Hello, friend! Brightwing does not know your name. What is it?"

He flashed a sort-of grin. "I'm glad you asked. I just call myself The Armorer. I make...well, armor."

"How funny! Is it hard?"

"Not most days, but some days, when I wake up too early, or skip breakfast, I sort of lose my balance."

"Very interesting, friend! When we go into battle, would you make Brightwing some armor?"

He smiled at her. "Of course! I guess it's better than making armor for some lou-mouthed, nosy…" He caught himself nearly calling his superior a bitch. "A nevermind, that was what I was going to say, totally."


	30. Chapter 30

I've abandoned this story. And let me explain why.

I do not have the time to work on this anymore. I've been meaning to write new chapters, but I can't. I'm in danger of failing school, so homework is vital, and I need to keep running around places during the day. Plus, on top of that, I can't work on it on the weekends, as that is when I visit my father, and in addition I personally dislike my writing in this story. So, SkullyPirate, Consort, Lucario, and the others, I'm sorry for letting you down like this. Maybe, during the summer, and maybe after I've re-written a few chapters, and gotten rid of a few filler chapters entirely, I'll continue the story. The ending was something I was hyped for, but I've looked at it and it is simply too cheesy.

Again, I apologize, and you probably saw this at the top of the page and thought a new chapter was here, but it's not. And it might not for a while. But I promise you the ending will come. One day. Plus, I have a few other fics in mind that I would like to work on instead of this one. But thank you, from the bottom of my heart, everyone that read this story beginning to the last chapter I updated. I swear on my life I WILL continue one day.


End file.
